Stuck Between Two Venues

It's ultimately up to you. Do you want to basically remotely plan your wedding or be close to the venue? On top of being over budget in California, you'll still need to buy plane tickets to get there and whatnot. Will you have a better turnout guest-wise between the 2 venues or does traveling not bother either of your families. If you can make your budget work and California is your dream venue then go for it!

All of what pp said. I’d say go with the cheaper option or the option that will be easiest for you to plan, but it really is up to you and your fiancé on what you want to do. We were between two venues when we picked as well and we made a spreadsheet of the expenses and the pros and cons of each. Turns out, the option we did not choose was basically asking us to pay $4,000 for using their DJ when we compared to the other place. It wasn’t worth it for us. So you have to choose what’s best for YOU.

I agree with the pp's. I know your gut says California but there are more cons to Cali than VA. Planning a wedding abroad is hard and CA is expensive. Would you be able to fly for HMU trial? Also as the pp said you have to factor in flights and a place to stay. Plus if your dog attending is that much more important than I feel staying local. I have a fur baby I love and I get nervous just leaving her for a honeymoon. I think the VA one is beautiful and I feel it will be better budget wise and much easier to coordinate when local. However, if you are feeling the CA one more than you need to be okay foregoing your dog being there (travel wise could be worry some for you and the dog) as well as ease of planning.

It sounds like one of your priorities is reducing planning stress (totally get that!). For me, even though the California venue is all inclusive I feel it could be more stressful for a few reasons: you have to plan remotely, you have to fly there and pack your dress etc., you couldn't do trials with the local vendors there (unless you plan to fly in for a trial???).
Where are most of the guests located?
Personally i would chose the Virginia wedding. That barn is absolutely stunning and in fall would be amazing.

Is the venue in Virginia significantly under budget? I didn't realize how expensive each component of a wedding was until I started booking it all. I think I probably could have saved money by doing all inclusive but when I originally looked at that, it all seemed so high. Also factor in what will be more convenient for guests. If all of his family and most of yalls friends are in VA, I'd sincerely consider that one just because I wouldn't want to inconvenience the majority of guests.

I was stuck between having an out of state venue or a local. If it helps, we decided to go with the local venue. We figured we would rather save money for the future rather than spend most of it on a day. I also want my dog to be a part of the wedding and we figured it will be so much easier to get my dog to a place he is comfortable rather than having someone else deal with getting him to a hotel/air b&b/home/ect..

The California one is amazing to me. But it sounds like Virginia makes more sense planning wise for you.

Especially if the dog is a non-negotiable, VA is a better choice. According to the WSJ the US Dept of Transportation changed the rules in January to give airlines MUCH greater freedom to ban anything but truly professionally trained (with documentation) service dogs (very different from emotional support animals) from passenger cabins. The expectation is most airlines are going to jump at the opportunity, since it makes things MUCH easier for them. The VA facility looks almost identical to the one in CA, since it's also cheaper and easier access, it seems like an easy choice.

That's totally up to you but I would just sit and examine the difference in pricing. All inclusive in California plus the other vendors and hair/make up and travel. Then the local venue that's not all inclusive plus wedding planner and all the other vendors. Even if you have to estimate. Round up the prices of everything and see which one is more financially doable for you. If it's not that far off after all that and you're still debating, maybe go with California if that's what your dream wedding is.

Good luck!