Stuck between having a wedding and just going to the courthouse

I think people think large, grandiose weddings are required. You can do a small intimate ceremony with just parents, no bridal party unless you want. Elopings have changed and many people do that just to include a small amount of people. You can have a small wedding and pending your area you may have an officiant that will decorate for you and file the license for you. Check elopement packages in your area that includes everything and keep it to parents. What do you think?

If you're considering having a wedding, not just because you don't want your parents to miss out on that moment, I think you should have a wedding. It doesn't have to be super expensive or elaborate, but to me you sound like you may regret not having that moment. I would look into the most cost-efficient options for a wedding in your area and then sit down with your fiancé to decide if this is the route you want to take rather than the courthouse. All brides are on a budget (though some are much different than others) and we're all looking for ways to save a few bucks! This forum is a great place to find budget-friendly wedding ideas if you do decide to have a wedding Best of luck to you!

If you’re going to have a wedding do it for yourself and your spouse not for anyone else. That would be absurd. I am doing both. I wanted the courthouse piece on a specific date and I got it. My husband wanted the party part so we are doing a dinner and drinks next year.

View Quoted Comment This is what I thought of at first. We are going to discuss and see what is best. He wants the party as well

Speaking from personal experience, I would do a courthouse wedding. That was our original plan but I decided to do a church wedding. That was a huge mistake! It's been so stressful and has cost more than originally thought. You can still wear a fancy dress to the courthouse, get married, and then take your parents/family out to a nice dinner. That's what I wish I would've done!

I think it is great you're keeping your parents in mind but I can agree to what Cher is saying in regards to more stress and budget. If I had to be honest (and not to insult) but having ready the money and relationship issues I see on this site it makes me glad I am eloping. Just him and I and we have discussed a post elopement reception. Can your parents be at the courthouse and maybe you just wear a simple white dress and he can dress a little nice? Not a full wedding but they are there and many courthouses will allow you to take pics or something for a little extra.

View Quoted Comment Yes my parents can be there. Maybe we will just ho to the courthouse and next year for our anniversary we can do like a wedding or renewal then idk lol

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Ya know I get it. We all want to make family happy but ultimately what will make you happy. Do not focus on what they want rather what you and your FH want. Something simple and maybe this will work: courthouse wedding, family in attendance, take them for a small dinner afterwards ("reception dinner" lol) and then a larger party for friends and family. Should not be a stressful and it is what you want but including them. Thoughts? My philosophy is if anyone expects you to have a wedding they can pay and plan for it lol.

I'm wishing right now we'd eloped. I know the day of will be gorgeous, but the money has been way more than we planned. And we're not having a huge wedding- 60 people right now on a Saturday afternoon. We're saving where we can, but its stressful since we're paying for everything ourselves. There's also stress from my family, but we kind of expected that due to my parents. Have the ceremony that you want. We both want a full wedding, so we're doing it and trying to save money and stress where we can.

View Quoted Comment I'm definitely with you on that! Lol

I was torn on this too but honestly having all our friends and family celebrating with us was priceless. You can always make more money but you can’t redo your wedding (well, you could do a vow renewal, but it wouldn’t be the same)

View Quoted Comment True! I wonder how a reception down the line will work out. 🤔 We have everything already the rings, marriage licenses, kids, new house, literally everything so that's why its just like go ahead and get it done. We can celebrate later

My FH wanted to just go to the courthouse and I told him no way. This was back in September 2018 when we started planning and now we are about 2.5 months away from our wedding. While I am okay with spending money, we have for sure spent more than we expected or wanted to. But at the same time I am getting close to the wedding of my dreams, but I am also feeling a little regret not just going with the courthouse idea. I know personally once the big day arrives, happens, and is over I will not have one ounce of regret but its hard to figure out what you want. I would suggest sitting down with your SO and really discussing what the two of you want.

1. If there is a ceremony and you end up married at the end of it, it's a wedding, whether or not it's at the courthouse. So it's not a question of whether to have a wedding, it's a question of what type of wedding to have.

2. You don't have to choose between an expensive wedding with everyone you know and a courthouse wedding. For example, you could have a wedding at home with a hired officiant and just immediate families, and then make dinner for everyone afterward. So think about whom you'd like to have there, and your budget, and make some trade-offs. It may end up being a courthouse wedding, but it's also possible to have a wedding elsewhere that is similar in cost if that's what you want.

We are both the first to get married on his and my family's sides. We were debating on a courthouse wedding, but ultimately we are going to do a wedding - a very intimate and small wedding. It's only immediate family. It would have been nice to have done a huge elaborate reception party, but we didn't want to spend our money that way. Plus, we are still renovating our house so it's been a slow and arduous process...

It's what you're most comfortable with!

You can have a wedding and not go over-the-top. It's not a waste of money to give time and attention to something so momentous. Just draft up a budget and see if you feel like you can make it work.

If you're on the fence, I'd lean towards doing the wedding. You'll have more regret for skipping that than skipping the courthouse.

You have every option under the sun available to you and your family, all you have to do is decide what feels right to you?

If you've been dreaming of a wedding since you were a little girl, then yes, I think you should have the wedding! Do you need to spend $50K? absolutely not! There's a whole range of lavish ceremony to intimate gathering, eloping or only inviting immediate family, and the list goes on forever. If your heart really is set on the courthouse without the extra traditional wedding expenses and I promise you it will be beautiful and sentimental.

Maybe after the courthouse you gather up a few family and friends for a nice dinner or an after party? That way everyone still feels included but you get the wedding you truly want

Remember, it is your and FH wedding - you could never be "taking it away" from someone else but it is something sentimental that you are doing for yourselves as a couple to celebrate this milestone, whatever that may look like.