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Super October 2020

Stressing and I’m not even planning yet

Michelle, on September 13, 2019 at 4:38 PM Posted in Planning 0 7

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So I just got engaged a week ago, yay! It was all fun and cloud 9 until I started thinking about wedding stuff and now I’ve stressed myself out with thoughts about how much it’ll cost and how I would love a small wedding of just family and closest friends but it looks like that’s not happening.

Initially fiancé and I talked about how great a small wedding or destination will be now he’s saying he wants everyone there. He has a ton of friends, but he’s grown apart from many of them where we don’t even hangout because they like to party and drink all the time where we have grown out of that. Sure we are cool and see them once in a while but it’s not like we are always talking and hanging out with his friends, and I’m talking about groups of like 20 including partners. Not to mention my relatives who I rarely talk to who I know would have drama if not invited.

Plus, the more I look at the costs the more I feel sick at how expensive it’ll be paying for a wedding for people I don’t really need in my heart to be there.

Moreso, I’m stressed about the budget. I would much rather have a lower key wedding and go on a nice honeymoon than a wedding. I’m a huge introvert too, so the thought of being in attention makes me stressed.

Has as anyone been in this situation where you wanted a different type of wedding than your spouse? I’m going to have to talk to fiance tonight and let him know my concerns.

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7 Comments

Latest activity by Michelle, on September 13, 2019 at 11:32 PM

Champion July 2019
Veronica · on September 13, 2019 at 5:06 PM
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My husband initially wanted to get married at state park on an island that is in the river of the state park. Only about 10 people would fit on the island so he just wanted to invite our families then throw a big reception afterwards for everyone, but I said no so we got engaged there instead. His friends and family also didn't like the idea because they wanted to be included in the ceremony which wouldn't have happened if we got married there. You and your fiance are going have to talk and figure out some type of compromise that both of you are comfortable with. Sadly weddings are a lot of money especially with the more people that you invite.
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Super October 2019
Andrea · on September 13, 2019 at 5:07 PM
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Try to stay focused on the fact that you get to marry your person! It’s so easy to get sucked into the drama and stress of planning a wedding. You are in that fun, walking on a cloud phase of being newly engaged! Enjoy it! Just talk to him about the kind of wedding you both want and meet somewhere in the middle. Try to be as economical as you can. I promise that it will all work out. Congratulations!!!
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Devoted April 2021
Allaura · on September 13, 2019 at 5:11 PM
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Make a rough guest list of like everyone in the world you would want there and then go through it together and start kind of eliminating people. Like people you haven’t talked to in forever. It’s your wedding so if you don’t want some family there then that’s fine. I think once you do that you’ll have a better picture of like what size you’re actually looking at. Then if it’s still not small enough I’d talk to your fiancé and tell him you really like the idea of a small wedding. If that doesn’t work then show him the cost of a giant guest count at venues vs. a smaller guest count lol. That will probably change his mind lol
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Expert October 2020
Sara · on September 13, 2019 at 5:47 PM
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I went through this period. I think stuff kind of just falls into place once you start actually planning. Like we came to an agreement on guest list once he saw the price of things.

Mostly I think you should just take some time and be engaged. There is no reason to stress right now, it's been a week! Just be engaged.
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VIP September 2023
Erin · on September 13, 2019 at 7:05 PM
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I sometimes find myself wishing we were having a smaller wedding (and we’ll only have 50-75 people still so it’s not like the wedding is going to be huge). But my family alone makes up about 40 people who would explode if they don’t get an invitation, and he’s got 15 people he wants to invite, which are all family and close friends. If we went for a smaller wedding it’d be WW3 xD.

Don’t stress yourself out too much. There are ways to plan a nice wedding on pretty much any budget. Look into renting a park, the fees are usually pretty small, some you just have to get a permit. You could do a BBQ instead of a full catered dinner, etc... you’ll be alright. At the end of the day, all that matters is that you’re marrying your best friend and favorite person in the world.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on September 13, 2019 at 10:26 PM
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Before thinking about anymore planning, I would have a serious discussion on budget with FH first. Your budget will be key in helping decide how many guests you can afford to properly host and accommodate!
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Super October 2020
Michelle · on September 13, 2019 at 11:32 PM
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Thanks everyone!!
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