Stressing and Feel Like It's All a Mess

Tying yourself to a date before finding a venue is going to make everything more stressful. Choose a season and try to find venues you like (that are in budget) versus trying to find venues for a specific date. Additionally, you can look at less traditional venues (Knights of Columbus halls, VFW halls, etc., which may open up your choices as well. Unfortunately, planning a wedding is stressful, and mitigating that stress is extremely difficult.

You may get a wedding planner if you have money for that. Many decisions are based first on how much a budget you have and how many guests you will have. Another recent post mentions some sites to check beyond just wedding venue lists. Churches or synagogues could be possible venues -- or check these to see if they have recommendations.

You might also check into full-service venues where you would not have to plan much beyond the basics they provide (chairs, tables, linens, catering). If you can be happy with the basics, just get these taken care of -- and just view other plans as just add-ons if you feel interested in doing those.

Share the planning and stress with your FS, because you're not marrying yourself. Decide on a guestlist # and budget, and check out websites of venues who can accommodate this size. Narrow down your favorites and call to book a tour for you two. You don't have a wedding until you book your venue. Your preferred Tuesday date should open up more options, but consider other dates if you love a specific venue but has less availability. Good luck.

In addition to the above advice, I'd say try to compartmentalize as much as you can. Designate a certain block of time for "wedding stuff," and try to reserve worrying about anything wedding related for that time only.