Stressed out!

She is under no obligation to do anything other than show up on the day of the wedding in the dress you asked her to wear.

That's the hard truth.

That said, if you had expected more from her, you needed to communicate that with her at some point before this week. School may be all she is able to focus on, her finances are probably very tight, and she may not feel able to share any of that with you.

You need to talk to her. Don't make it about the wedding, make it about what's going on in her life. Ask her if she's feeling up to this.

Do know that if you ask her to attend as a guest, she may not come at all, and you are likely to damage the relationship.

Communication is key.

I'd be telling her straight up ⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆⬆
And go on and be thankful you got your other BM's that you know are down for you and aren't being an bridesmaidzilla 😂😂😂

The tradition maybe that ultimately she's just supposed to show up on the day of but I feel that if you're in a bridal party you give a little bit more because ultimately the role of a guest is to show up and look nice for your wedding and be happy for you as well. I would say that closer to your wedding take her aside and have a serious talk with her one-on-one do not do it through text message. It sounds to me like you have communicated what you want her to do and she's using school as excuse. I get it we are all adults and sometimes life is busy but in my personal opinion and some ladies he may disagree but when you accept the role as maid of honor or bridesmaids you are expected to be there a little bit more than just the day of. Before you drop her I would just face-to-face they listen I am noticing that you're not able to be as available as I would like for you to be and I want you as a bridesmaid but I need to see this and this and this and this from you. Are you still able to do that for me? Kind of warded to where the ball is in her Court to either realize okay I need to step it up to be there how you want me to be there or maybe she'll realize that she just needs to step down. I wouldn't just outright drop her.

View Quoted Comment I definitely see where everyone is coming from, but in my defense before we even went bridesmaids dress shopping I gave her an opportunity to step aside because I knew she was starting school and knew that school would consume alot of her time. She assured me that she had the dates of every event pertaining to the wedding written down and she would be there 100% so we left it as that. Asking her to stand up was more of an obligation than a choice and I've just about had it with all the negative remarks or the attitude I sense from her each time she texts me. As far as money goes that should not be the problem, the girls bought their dress and shoes and I've paid for everything else as far as makeup and hair for the day and accessories as gifts. I guess I was just expecting a little more commitment from her being that she is a bridesmaid and not just a regular guest.

I can understand what you’re saying and how you’re feeling but I think if you drop her now less than a week before the wedding it’s going to cause a lot of drama. Since you mention you asked her out of obligation, I imagine whoever made you feel obligated would also be mad about it.

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I get ya. Sounds to me you have communicated expectations to her so then I would face to face sit down with her and just tell her that you need her to be more responsive and attentive for the next couple of weeks to help you out. I agree that dropping her now even if she is getting on your nerves would cause family drama and I am sure your aunt will react badly too. I will ask you this? Do you have other bridal party members that are attentive and supportive? I have been in quite a few parties where one BM was not as involved sometimes due to important matters or just personal matters they could not get over for someone else's big day. I would just maybe expect a bit more support from them and do not let yourself stress over her. If she was MOH which to me is more of a pivotal role then I would be more concerned. At this point just hope she is there the day of dressed and ready to go and if not maybe have two groomsmen walka BM down the aisle. At the last minute a groomsman backed out of a wedding of my friend and the one groomsman walked two of us down the aisle. I am sorry and I get your frustration but at this point just do not stress over it...vent to your MOH if you need to but focus on the upcoming happy day.

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I agree, and I would be more concerned that she isn't going to show up for the wedding. But if she doesn't show up you won't have to ask her to step down. Since she is family is probably best to reach out to her and make sure she is good. If she says she'll be there leave it at that. If your are worried about even numbers for the bridal party have a plan b if she drops out. Maybe have one of the groomsmen walk two bridesmaids.