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Megan
Dedicated October 2019

Stressed Out

Megan, on August 31, 2019 at 8:49 PM Posted in Planning 0 13
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So our RSVP deadline is tomorrow (September 1st) and we have 30 invites back out of 103. I've been told by about 10 people theirs are in the mail and have been for weeks. I'm so worried now that the 60 unaccounted invites are people saying no. The fiance and I are gonna start messaging people to find out what's going on. And he just wants them to confirm over text. While it's no big deal, I feel the RSVP is like a commitment to coming. But that's just me wanting to be super organized when we meet with catering.
On top of this my mother is being a character. She only wants to become involved with planning when it makes her look good (though the explanation for this could take years). She agreed very suddenly to pay for catering, which seems fantastic as itll be our largest cost. But my fiance and I are sooo worried shes gonna pull back last minute leaving me to scramble for that type of money. We are 6 weeks out and now I feel like all our planning is falling apart. I know everything wont be perfect. But I dont want everything to go wrong either.

13 Comments

  • Cyndy
    Rockstar May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I would wait until after the holiday weekend and then send messages to everyone who didn’t respond and say something like “we have not received your RSVP and need to provide our final count this week. We certainly hope you are able to join us, but if we do not hear from you by Friday we will assume you are not coming.” People always forget these things so don’t panic get on how many people haven’t responded. Good luck.
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  • Megan
    Dedicated October 2019
    Megan ·
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    That's what I was thinking. I know the postal service has been funky in town here and I'm trying to believe it's a mail thing. But as far as contacting people we wanna wait for Tuesday and such.
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  • Hannah
    Just Said Yes October 2020
    Hannah ·
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    Ugh I’m afraid of this. Just curious did you send them out too far in advanced or the normal 6 weeks. I know a girl who sent them out 6 months and people forget they even have them. Just trying to figure out how to avoid this happening 😱. Good luck girl!
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  • Monique
    Master December 2019
    Monique ·
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    Holy cow! 6 months 😱 I’m sending mine out a little early (2 extra weeks) but that is because it’s a December wedding. 6 months is crazy!
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  • Krystal
    Dedicated October 2019
    Krystal ·
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    Aw sorry you are stressed out! Everyone experiences RSVP problems so it’s nothing personal, they probably just forgot. Like others said reaching out Tuesday would be good. For your mom I would save money just in case she backs out but I wouldn’t raise doubt of her pulling through to avoid offending her. Good luck, I’m sure it will all work out Smiley smile
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  • Devin
    Super October 2019
    Devin ·
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    I feel ya. Our RSVP due date is Friday and we still have 54 people out of 144 that we are waiting to hear from.
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  • Megan
    Dedicated October 2019
    Megan ·
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    We sent them out at around 8 weeks before the deadline since my uncle's wife works for the government and needs that extra time to know. So it may have been a little to early
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  • Selena
    Super September 2019
    Selena ·
    • Flag
    Our RSVP count was similar to yours, I sent out a bulk email to everyone I had a email address for, and made phone calls.

    As far as your mom, say yes, but don't change your budget so you can still cover it if needed, and if she does bonus honeymoon money, or savings, or whatever.
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  • Denise
    Super September 2019
    Denise ·
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    I sent my invites early for this reason. My family is very much so the type to wait and wait and wait. So when our deadline came and went I was even a little hurt by how little people responded. I got back around 40 responses on 200 guests I was a little shocked. It only took about a week before the number jumped. After the first few calls we had already jumped to 90 responses and at 4 weeks we had called everyone and we had our final guest count

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  • Jazmine
    Expert September 2019
    Jazmine ·
    • Flag

    It sounds like you should prepare to have the catering paid for now, and then keep the money for something else (like honeymoon, house repairs, etc) in case she DOES pull out. I'm sorry you do not feel like you can rely on her. That has to be frustrating!

    I'm also sorry about the RSVP! I had a deadline of August 9, and yet I had a few official RSVPs recently. Most confirmed over text and I took the liberty of just changing them on the website to "yes," and then they came back to do it THREE WEEKS later.

    I think those who have not been married lately do not understand. Take the RSVPs that you can. I think the best advice is plan, plan, plan and then let it go.

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  • Taylor
    Savvy September 2021
    Taylor ·
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    The mail system can be funky too! While I’m sure it doesn’t account for all 60, it could for a few.

    My cousins wedding is in October. She text me a few weeks ago because she was surprised I hadn’t responded yet. I never got an invite! We’re not sure what happened, figured either mine was never sent or it was lost in the mail. But then recently, I got a thank you card from someone, it was post-marked from a whole month before! So somehow the post office just had it for an entire month before they got it to me? So just something to think about! I’m super nervous about sending invites because of this reason!
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  • Carolina
    Dedicated February 2021
    Carolina ·
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    Omg I’m so sorry . 6 weeks will go fast So i think you should confirm with those who haven’t done so already. I really hope your mom comes through for you but you should have a plan B. My dad offered to pay for the dress so I began the long search process for a dress and then he made it really awkward saying he didn’t like the dress or I should rent one. Just excuses so now I’m left to buy one myself. So I would say def have a backup plan. Good luck ! 💕
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  • Tamika
    Expert October 2019
    Tamika ·
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    We did our RSVPs totally different; so some of our response was: Wedding websites, text message , phone call and a few cards came back. Those that didn't or not to come.

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