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J
Just Said Yes September 2018

Stressed out and sad because idk if i can afford our wedding

Jenae, on April 13, 2018 at 4:50 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

Hi all,

So here's the thing. I got engaged in August of 2017. Our wedding date is September 9th 2018. We knew from the beginning that money was going to be a stressor but we knew we would make it work. Or so we thought...It's now about 4 1/2 months away from our wedding date and everything is falling apart. The money we had saved we ended up having to spend on unexpected bills, our venue fell through because after having it all planned out we were then told a few weeks ago that we would have to limit guest list to 50 people, which is impossible. Our guest list is about 140, but assuming not everyone will show i'm saying about 100-120. So here we are without a venue, no money saved, and no idea on what to do! I have decided to cut down on some ideas I was originally wanting and maybe do a wedding at a local state park or campsite or something but nothing is panning out. We still want the small ceremony, and reception with dinner drinks and dancing but I seriously am out of ideas on how to find a venue or save any more money with the limited time that we now have. I really wanna get married, and I don't want to wait another year or two to start our lives together but I am at a loss for what to do. Any ideas, tips, or advice would be super helpful. Thank you in advance!!

16 Comments

Latest activity by AllieB25, on April 14, 2018 at 8:44 AM
  • Mrs. H
    Master September 2019
    Mrs. H ·
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    Sorry to hear you're having financial difficulties right now! I've been there, and that's no fun. Since your venue fell through, is there any way you could push back the wedding or have the invites already gone out?

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  • J
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Jenae ·
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    I haven't sent out official invites, but I have sent out save the dates already!

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  • Red Queen
    VIP May 2018
    Red Queen ·
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    You don't have a wedding date until you have a venue. So perhaps it's a good idea to be more flexible if your venue fell through.

    Don't go into debt for a party; it's not worth it. You can always have a small ceremony now and throw a vow renewal in a few years if you still want to.

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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Karen ·
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    Hi, I am sorry to hear that you are having a rough time. Where are you located?
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  • J
    Just Said Yes September 2018
    Jenae ·
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    I am located in Eugene, Oregon

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  • Going to the chapel
    Master July 2017
    Going to the chapel ·
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    Forget about the plans you've been developing. You just can't afford those. You certainly can't afford to provide food and drink for over 100 guests. Have a small ceremony with parents, grandparents, siblings/SOs. Get inexpensive catering for after the ceremony. If you can't afford that, get married at the courthouse and take your parents to lunch.

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  • Emilly
    Savvy March 2018
    Emilly ·
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    In order to save money and cut down on extra costs, we had our wedding reception at my uncle's house. It does take a little more work but it also made it more personal and intimate.
    Maybe if you know someone with a big enough space that could be an option.
    • Reply
  • K
    Dedicated October 2018
    Kelsey ·
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    We were in the same spot of not having a lot of money for the wedding! However we decided to do a destination wedding which also cut down on guests durastically. We originally were like you and had about 150 people we were going to invite but that also means more money you have to spend on food. because you don't have a venue it is not to late to change things up (even the date if necessary). We have had to really cut down people which we wanted to do anyway, and how I did it was by how many times we actually talked or saw them(if it's just for the holidays we didn't invite them or if it's friends we haven't talked to in years we didn't invite them, etc.) this is your wedding and if you don't want a lot of people there for money reasons then just explain that to people(the majority will understand that). Good luck I promise it will all come together and everything will work out perfect!!!
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  • S
    Dedicated June 2021
    Susan ·
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    Recreation areas, check out picnic areas, within your city or county and see. I know it's not classy but it's cheaper. Hotels have locations. And different halls in the area.
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  • C
    Master July 2018
    Cuoghi ·
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    Either wait or majorly cut down your guest list or have punch and cake in a park or nature area. Please do not go into debt for your wedding.
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Karen ·
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    I think there some good suggestions. Moving the date, destination etc. I would also put put there all inclusive packages. Cut where you can. Beer and wine only, maybe cocktail style reception or buffet.

    http://ainsworthhouse.net/the-complete-wedding-package/
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  • K
    Just Said Yes June 2019
    Karen ·
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    Elopement packages seem affordable as well. They only serves 16 to 30 people though.
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  • L
    Expert May 2018
    LIZ ·
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    You really dont want to be this stressed and also to start a marriage in debit over your wedding. I know how bad you want this, but if you really want to cut the stress and have the day you want, push the date back. You'll be glad you did. Then set up a savings and put money in faithfully each paycheck.
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  • Anna
    Dedicated June 2019
    Anna ·
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    Okay, so here’s the first thing that came to mind. If you or your FH are members of a church, they normally let you do your wedding a reception there for free. In addition to this, you could get a lot of help with decor and food prep. My friend had a nice ending for less than $5000 for 50 ppl at her church. You can get decent table clothes online (tableclothfactory, efavormart, etc-I have purchased some from there). You can get a 7” and 10” vase set from Walmart and do floating candles, etc. Everyone is not a DIY bride, so I would solicit someone for help. This way, your biggest burden would be food and decor.

    One thing to keep in mind, though, is that your music and alcohol would be restricted and you may not have much dancing. But at least you would be married.
    If you don’t mind waiting (I know you don’t want to), you can push the wedding back by maybe 6 to 8 months since the official invites haven’t been sent
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  • Karma
    Devoted April 2018
    Karma ·
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    I think is this best idea as well... it’s not worth going into debt over a party either...
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  • AllieB25
    Expert October 2018
    AllieB25 ·
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    You don't need a big wedding to get married and start your life together. If I were you, I would get married at a courthouse at this point, and inviting your close family to dinner at a restaurant after to celebrate. Maybe on your first or fifth anniversary you can plan a vow renewal that's the big party you want, but that doesn't sound realistic for you at this point.

    This optional party is not worth the apparent financial and mental stress that it is causing you right now.

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