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Super October 2019

Stress / Bridesmaid rant

Kellie Martinez, on June 16, 2019 at 9:09 PM Posted in Community Conversations 0 17

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I have been overly nice to one specific bridesmaid. She is family before anyone gets angry at me for trying for this long or says I should have kicked her out earlier. I am doing my best. She has made everything really difficult from the beginning.. for example, she refused to go to bachelorette party at Disney for 1 day.. (we live a few hours away) unless her husband and children could come.. to a bachelorette celebration with only other adult bridesmaids attending. I was shocked and it didn’t go well and it ended up being completely cancelled. :-/ disappointing.

now, she is angry because everyone’s hair and makeup is being professionally done. (Yes, I paid for everyone) she doesn’t want to wake up that early. She is upset about her kids having to be awake that early but her husband is there.. he will be in the hotel room and could watch them so I’m not sure if that is just an excuse she is using or what.. I’m confused. I hate being this upset but now she is saying she will just get her hair and makeup (that I already paid for and can’t get a refund for) elsewhere so she won’t be getting ready with us apparently.. am I in the wrong? I’m so so stressed out. It is always something with her.

Stress / Bridesmaid rant 1

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17 Comments

Latest activity by Mcskipper, on June 17, 2019 at 1:05 PM

Super October 2019
Kellie Martinez · on June 16, 2019 at 9:11 PM
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And if anyone is wondering why my hair isn’t in the timeline it’s bc a separate hair stylist is doing my hair and will be doing it immediately after my makeup is done while the other hair stylist is finishing up everyone else’s. ******
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Super July 2019
Justine · on June 16, 2019 at 9:35 PM
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Did your stylist give you a timeline that starts at 5 AM?! I’ve never had to be anywhere that early to get ready when I was a bridesmaid I have 8 bridesmaids and we aren’t starting until 8. Our wedding is at the same time as yours. It seems a little early, especially since you have a completely different stylist.
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Master September 2019
Sarah · on June 16, 2019 at 9:42 PM
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I was in a wedding that started at 11am and we still didn’t begin that early. Why do you only have one stylist for that many people? Why is the one that’s doing your hair not splitting the girls with the other stylist? I only have 4 girls getting ready with me and 1 is only doing hair. I still have two hair stylists and a makeup artist.
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Super October 2019
Kellie Martinez · on June 16, 2019 at 9:46 PM
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My hair stylist is really expensive and coming from LA she is only doing my hair. :-/
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Super October 2019
Kellie Martinez · on June 16, 2019 at 9:47 PM
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I verified with her multiple times and it’s when she says we need to begin
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VIP July 2019
Summerbride77 · on June 16, 2019 at 9:48 PM
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I agree with this. 5 AM seems extreme for a 4:30 wedding. I think it’s fair to go back to you hair and makeup artists and see if they can come up with a more reasonable timeline. We’re starting at 11:45 to have everyone (5 bridesmaids, 2 mom's, and me) ready to go to the venue at 3. The bridesmaids are only doing hair, but if the were doing make up we’d starting an hour or so earlier. For your sake I'd see about a slightly later start time
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Devoted September 2020
Kimberly · on June 16, 2019 at 9:54 PM
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That seems extremely early, 5am. I stood up in a wedding recently and we started at 7am to be ready to go at 1pm and we had no problem being ready for a wedding starting at 2:30pm.
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Master December 2019
Courtney · on June 16, 2019 at 10:58 PM
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I’m going to play devil’s advocate here for a second, but did you run this start time by your girls before booking? Or is she being difficult because she wasn’t paying attention?

I can’t really give an opinion on start
time here. All of the weddings I’ve been a part of were small and we DIYed our hair and makeup so it did take as long.
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Devoted May 2022
Madison · on June 16, 2019 at 11:15 PM
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Is the person doing makeup the same person doing the hair for everyone? Sorry if you already said it I think maybe I missed it or got confused
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Super October 2019
Kellie Martinez · on June 16, 2019 at 11:17 PM
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I can’t figure out how to edit my post but I figured it out and found a way to get the MuA AND hair stylist to bring assistants and it’s 10 am now thank you everyone
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Dedicated June 2020
Margaret · on June 17, 2019 at 6:01 AM
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Ugh, what a brat. You're going to have to get really blunt with her. You can tell her you know it's a long day and that you appreciate her time, but the commenting on everything is starting to bring you down. She ACCEPTED a role as bridesmaid and whole you'd love it if she stayed one, she can back out and attend as a guest so she can get her beauty sleep.
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VIP September 2019
latasha · on June 17, 2019 at 9:26 AM
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🙄🙄 yes it’s early but I mean it’s one day she should get over it and just do what you want her to do. Glad you worked it out though and got the vendors to push it back to 10.
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Dedicated April 2021
Stephanie · on June 17, 2019 at 10:01 AM
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I will say I had my engagement makeup done this past weekend and my MUA gave a similar timeline to the one you provided when she talked about previous weddings (I think she mentioned 11 people with one assistant). The time is going to depend on how many people needs makeup/hair done and allowing time for pictures beforehand. It's great you were able to get assistants!
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Expert October 2020
Natalia · on June 17, 2019 at 10:19 AM
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Wow, I do not agree with her in the slightest. Sure, 5am seems pretty damn early for a 4:30pm wedding, however, did she not accept the role as bridesmaid and anything that comes with it? This is YOUR wedding and she should not be giving you a hard time. A bridesmaid is there to make everything easier for you, so you can at least enjoy your special day. I would never want someone like that in my bridal party, but since she's in yours, you can either keep her or ditch her. I feel it would be rude to just ditch her last minute sort of, but sometimes you just have to do what you have to do.
Also, ruining your bachelorette party for something so stupid? No way, jose. That is NOT okay for anyone to do. She knew what she would have to do when she is a part of your party, it is not right for her to just complain about it the entire time.
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Super October 2019
Kellie Martinez · on June 17, 2019 at 11:44 AM
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While I am happy that I figured it out and we can start at 10 am, I'm happy so many of you agree with me and validated my feelings lol. I appreciate it.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on June 17, 2019 at 12:15 PM
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It sounds like she has never been a bridesmaid before. I'd just tell her she doesn't need to get hers done by your person and can go somewhere else. My bridesmaids are in for a LONG day. We leave the hotel at 9:15 AM and get home from the reception at 11:00 PM. They all know this and were told in advance.
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Master July 2018
Mcskipper · on June 17, 2019 at 1:05 PM
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I’m glad you were able to get this sorted! I don’t think she was trying to be difficult but was trying in a way to advise that that timeline was a little unrealistic. This sounds much more workable and I guarantee everyone will be happier! For my wedding we had 2 hairstylists and 1 make up artist, so both services happened concurrently (one girl would be getting her hair done while another girl was getting make up done), so things moved along pretty efficiently! All were happy. We started at 10 for our 3:30pm wedding . I too would opt out of services if they started at 5am, especially if the wedding wasn’t until 4:30. Everyone would be happier haha because I am not nice at 5 am!! 🤣. It’s also important to remember you want everyone looking “fresh” at wedding time. All the hairspray in the world wouldn’t keep my frizzy mane looking good for 12 hours, haha.
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