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Jordan
Devoted August 2020

Still send invite if you know they can’t come?

Jordan, on July 4, 2019 at 8:34 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 28
Hi everyone!
We sent out save the dates and will send out invitations later on, but I had a question! A friend of my fiancé’s is invited, but we found out they now have another friends wedding the same day. Do we still send the invite to them and do we still invite to bridal shower?

Thank you!

28 Comments

Latest activity by Amanda, on July 5, 2019 at 5:50 PM
  • Courtney
    Master December 2019
    Courtney ·
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    We know a few family members may not attend. We’re still sending an invitation to them anyways.
    Their final answer is what they send back on the RSVP.
    • Reply
  • H
    Master July 2019
    Hannah ·
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    I would still send invites. They can decline. Things happen. They may decide they are closer with you. The other couple may change their date.
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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    I would send it. Something might change with their plans and you want them to know they are invited.
    • Reply
  • Futuremrs
    Devoted July 2019
    Futuremrs ·
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    It pained me to send invites to people who told me "no" after the save the dates, but I did it anyway. My feeling is that people know their own lives and I felt really pushy sending the invite. As though I was being disrespectful to their wishes. According to Emily Post, you don't have to, although you should send one to close family so they can keep it as a momento. But widespread forum "etiquette" says you do. So I did it anyway. It was a rough decision for me though.
    • Reply
  • Amanda
    Dedicated August 2019
    Amanda ·
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    Yes! We know of some family members and friends that are unable to attend, but we still sent them a formal invitation.
    • Reply
  • Tina
    Super August 2019
    Tina ·
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    I would just ask them if they still wanted one just in case...
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  • Bridget
    VIP August 2019
    Bridget ·
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    Definitely still invite them! We have several family members that we knew most likely wouldn't make it but we still invited them!

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  • Mrsjrs
    Savvy April 2019
    Mrsjrs ·
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    Send them an invite! We chose not to send an invitation to someone who said they couldn’t come after they received our save the date, but then their plans changed & they were able to make it, so we ended up sending them an invitation with wedding info anyway. Smiley smile
    • Reply
  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    If people let you know after saves, we absolutely cannot be there, don't save a seat for us, you should respect what they say, and not send an invitation. It is rude to disregard what someone tells you. But if they say, oh dear, so and so is getting married then, or some other event which may be rescheduled or cancelled, then at invitation time, ask them if they would like an invitation, just in case. You should acknowledge that you remember what they told you . For your planning, it is nice to be able to invite someone you may not have room for, which you will have a hard time doing if you consider as a possible yes, everyone who already told you they cannot come, and send all invitations regardless of what people told you . And when you think about it, it is not nice to act as though people don't know their own minds, and simply pay no attention to what people made a point of telling you.
    • Reply
  • CDickman
    VIP September 2019
    CDickman ·
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    I say yes. It is still nice to get a invite.
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  • Jordan
    Devoted August 2020
    Jordan ·
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    I think we will just send it! I feel like it makes sense to send it because I’d feel weird like just not sending them anything after sending them an informal invite (STD)
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  • Jordan
    Devoted August 2020
    Jordan ·
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    Thank you! I think we will just in case of anything! I’d feel so weird not sending them one since we sent them a save the date already!
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  • Keyaira
    Beginner April 2021
    Keyaira ·
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    I would send it! Make them feel included even if you know they can’t go. Let them know you still would want them there.
    • Reply
  • Lynne
    Super August 2022
    Lynne ·
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    We both have family that can't make it (out of state and health reasons), but still sending them an invite. To me it lets them know that we were thinking of them.
    • Reply
  • Kiley
    Expert November 2019
    Kiley ·
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    We have a handful of people we know will not attend, but we are still sending invites to them. We already have removed them from our head count. We are sending to avoid family drama in the long run.. the whole "well they didn't invite us.." If they happen to decide to RSVP yes, then we will accommodate but at least they have the option.

    • Reply
  • Stephanie
    Dedicated August 2020
    Stephanie ·
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    Yes I would still send as guests plans change.
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  • Jordan
    Devoted August 2020
    Jordan ·
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    That’s what I’m thinking! Thank you!
    • Reply
  • ASMini914
    Super September 2019
    ASMini914 ·
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    We have a few friends and family who have already told us they will not be able to attend, but I am sending them invites anyways. I might put a note in acknowledging that I am aware they won’t be able to attend, but just Incase their plans change... something like that.
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  • Kristen
    VIP June 2020
    Kristen ·
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    We are still sending ours to some of FHs family even though they’re going to his cousins wedding in CA a week before ours. Just in case!
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  • Brooke
    Expert November 2019
    Brooke ·
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    I have a friend that I am inviting, yet she will be in a wedding down in Jamaica and unable to attend, but I will still be sending an invitation to her.

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