Step parents..

Your step-mother sounds very immature. I'm not sure the reason she hates your mom, but to hate your mother-in-law because she has money is ridiculous. My advice would to make sure she doesn't sit anywhere near your mom or step-mother during the reception. My husband's parents are divorced, but are amicable. His dad is also remarried. Our wedding was the first time my mother-in-law ever met my husband's step-mother so we choose to put them at separate tables so no one was uncomfortable. My father-in-law is also estranged from my husband's older brother and older sister so me made sure to sit them far apart from him as well. I was nervous comments would be made, but everyone managed to act like adults. If your dad is concerned his wife can't behave, he might want to consider attending your wedding without her. But I wouldn't recommend not inviting or that would cause bigger issues.

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I've got them separated for rehearsal dinner as well as reception dinner. I agree with you she seems a bit immature, I've only been around her a few times. I personally think my dad is blinded by the thought someone loves him again, that she is controlling him.. I honestly didn't think he was even going come, but he has gotten his room, attire, and plates. I'm very happy he is coming. I couldn't ask him not to bring her because he just wouldn't come at all I feel. Bradley's parents (my husband to be) are divorced but get along so well! our couple's shower will be the first time both mine and Bradley's family will meet. Only my mom & dad has met Bradley's mom & step dad. I don't think my dad will be going to the shower.. Which I'm fine with that, I just want him at our wedding. Thank You for your comment.

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You're welcome I hope it all works out.

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Thank you girl! I'll defiantly post the turn out

Is your mom an easy going person?
Here’s why I ask. My ex’s girlfriend hates me. She’s pretty immature (considering she is 20 years younger than me that’s expected LOL) so tends to act out.
But I know this, so if I have to be around her for something related to the kids, I understand that she will goad me and my #1 job is to not rise to the occasion. It’s not ideal, and not fair, but if your mom is aware of the situation and has the social skills and temperament to deescalate it needed, that can help keep things calm. If your mom mom is warned and that there are also other guests who understand how to run interference, then unless your step mom is intending to start a brawl, things can be kept calm. And honestly, once you learn how to keep a calm expression when someone is trying push you into exploding, it’s very rewarding to just take the high road.

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MY mom is. I haven't told her what was said. She knows Tammy doesn't like her. I have told my maid of honor to just keep an eye out on Tammy.. If she looks like she is going to try something to step in.. That and keeping her separate is my plan as moment. Thank you for the advice. Really helps.

View Quoted Comment Why can’t adults just behave, right?

I come from this as well my step mom is tolerable of my mother but my mom creates drama just to create it, ugh I am so sorry your going through this I would keep them separated, also I would sit down with your step mom and explain to her that this is your wedding and she is to be kind, if she can't be kind she can feel free to leave

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Right!? I thought kids were bad, adults I believe are worse! lol

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I feel like she wouldn't understand.. She asked me if she could wear a white dress to the wedding. I was like.... umm well I believe the bride is supposed to be the only one wearing white.. She asked if my dress was white or off white, I told it was off white and she said her dress was white. My dad did throw out there that the dress had some colorful flowers on it. I didn't know what to say....

Oh good lord if she’s asking a bride if it’s ok to wear white to a wedding, she’s not going to be doing anything in good faith. She was sending you a clear message with that question.

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Ughh.. I'm so ready for our wedding but I'm not looking forward to drama. I can only hope there is none.

Sit down with your dad and step mother and explain that this is your wedding and you expect nothing but maturity and civility from everyone. Make it clear that you will not tolerate her acting any way except mature and civil to all parties and any behavior that does not meet these requirements will be met with consequences. Consequences being that they will no longer be invited to any activities and events with you.

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Thank you for the advice. this is a great idea!

View Quoted Comment I know it’s hard and uncomfortable but immaturity has to be met with sternness. I’ve had to do the same with my stepmother. Once they know you are serious they don’t push those limits anymore.

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That's good to know! This is all knew to me.