M
Just Said Yes January 2021

Step dad or dad walking you down the aisle?

Madeline, on January 28, 2020 at 5:55 PM Posted in Wedding Ceremony 0 7
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I met my stepdad when I was 8, I'm 28 now, I want him to walk me down the aisle as he is the only father figure that has been a constant in my life. When I first was engaged, I looked for our father daughter dance song I was so excited. My step dad means everything to me. My conflict is that, even though I am not close with my dad, I feel like denying him the right to walk me down the aisle at my wedding would be hurtful to him. My dad hasn't always been present in my life. We have always had a strained relationship, especially in recent years, and at times I don't really want him at my wedding mainly because his wife is awful to me. I am not sure if I should just have them both walk me down the aisle or just have my step dad do it. Feeling very conflicted. Also an option is to have my mom walk me, and have two father daughter dances...

7 Comments

  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    Has your dad mentioned any of these things? If the relationship is strained and he hasn't truly been a father in your life, I wouldn't be too concerned. Another option is to have both of them walk you down the aisle. I wouldn't deny your stepfather walking you down the aisle if it's important to him though, just to not hurt your biological father.

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  • Kristen
    Rockstar November 2020
    Kristen ·
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    Well at the end of the day your father has to realize that you guys do not have the closest of relationships. I think it's very nice that you're taking his feelings into consideration but honestly if you don't even really want him at your wedding than I don't feel like he gets the honor of walking you down the aisle. If you want to do a happy medium then what I have seen some Brides do is have both the father and the stepfather walk them down the aisle but I definitely feel that right as well as the father daughter dance should be given to your stepdad especially as you said that it made you so happy looking up songs for that.
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  • Megan
    Devoted October 2020
    Megan ·
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    My mom had her step dad walk her down the aisle with her mom and did the father daughter dance with her biological dad. You can also do both dads walk you down the aisle and two separate dances or one dance where you dance with both of them together. I would choose which one makes you most happy and come up with a really good reason why to do each and if you want to separate them then do that and tell him you wanted to spend each moment with just one of them to make it special. It can be hard but in the end it’s whatever makes you most happy even if it might make someone else upset it would also make someone else happy like your mom or step dad. Your wedding isn’t about pleasing others even family
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  • Cristina
    Devoted October 2020
    Cristina ·
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    I completely understand where you're coming from. My step dad has always been the person I call my father as my bio dad has never really been involved in my life. I know it's a very difficult decision but I knew the minute I got engaged I would want my step father to walk me. I just recently had a very difficult conversation for the 1st time with my bio dad about why I wasn't choosing him. As you can imagine it was hard but it's my wedding and I want to be happy on my day. I think same for you, you should choose whatever would make you happiest on your day. Good luck!

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  • M
    Just Said Yes January 2021
    Madeline ·
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    View Quoted Comment

    "Your wedding isn’t about pleasing others even family"

    Literally what everyone has been saying. Thank you all for the responses. I think having my step dad walk me down the aisle is the best option for me.

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  • Christine
    Savvy August 2020
    Christine ·
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    Have you considered walking down the aisle yourself?
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  • Ingrid
    Super October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    Choose based on relationship not obligation. Your dad didn't seem to consider your feelings with his inconsistency as a father, you owe him nothing.
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