Starting to feel it😩 July 17 Anxious Bride!

I am really starting to get nervous. A few weeks ago my gut was telling me everything would be ok and now my gut is starting to shift and it’s telling me it’s not and you know what they say your gut is never wrong. Although this time I hope it is. I am a completely heart broken bride besides COVID cancelling my bachelorette and most likely my bridal shower I lost my
Mother in Law two weeks ago. We had no time to even grieve as we were not able to have a funeral. July 17 means so much to us now because she knew we were getting married that day and we do plan to somehow. I am just struggling so much with deciding if we should post pone the wedding itself. There wasn’t many back up date options with my venue and the thought of scheduling another year out scares me so much my fiancé’s grandma passed away last year and this year his mom I truly do not want to know what another year would do! Our back up date is August 21st but I am not sure if that’s safe either. Any advice would be great as I am just full of emotions and cannot make a decision. I am going to wait the month to decide but just curious what others are doing? Also every single piece of my decor has my date on it😩 I spent way to much money on it so I don’t plan on redoing it. My heart goes out to all the brides going through this as well🙏🏻💙