Spreading ashes at wedding?

I think its really sweet but im not sure how I would feel being a guest and seeing someone spread ashes during a wedding to be honest. It just wouldn't sit right with me, especially not during a dance. I think if you do it inside, it could potentially be really strange. But if you do it outside, like say in a porch or garden at the venue, during an intimate moment, it might be better. I think something like this deserves intimacy and not an audience. Have you considered spreading them alone with your fiance (and other close family) maybe after the wedding is over into a window or patio or whatever your venue has? Could also work in the morning before arrival of guests (like before the ceremony or whatever). Your photographer can get some nice pictures as a keepsake too.

View Quoted Comment I agree!! Do it but make it a private moment

I'm very sorry for your loss.
I doubt that a venue would permit you to spread ashes. I also think most guests would not feel comfortable with that
A better idea may be a bouquet charm with his photo on it and a table of photos of loved ones who have passed on

I am so sorry for your loss, but I have to be honest, I'd recommend you do this privately

I think this is a beautiful way to honor your father on your day♥️

Im so sorry for your loss. My dad passed in 2017 and we have his ashes. I personally would never spread his ashes in public or at a wedding venue. Also if i was a guest i would feel very uncomfortable

You can have your dad there ...his ashes. As i was reading your discussion my father we have his ashes and i thought you were going to say will it be recommended to bring him ; his ashes to the wedding ...however I would wanna spread his ashes in a venue that other ppl will have to use and ...i dont know ...i know for a fact they wouldn't allow this. Im so so sorry for your lost. I lost my dad in 2005 and i understand your pain.

I agree with everyone else, very uncomfortable as a guest or relative. I also think the day should be joyful and about your union—that’s the memory you’ll probably want.

View Quoted Comment This wouldn’t be during a dance (I only mentioned the dance because I’m doing it without my dad), and not indoors. Our venue is outside and our ceremony site is a field on a hillside. I wouldn’t be fully spreading a box of ashes either, I was thinking of putting a small bit at our ceremony site probably later in the evening with just my FH and maybe my mom.

I agree with pps who suggest this is very private and guest could be uncomfortable. As another poster suggested, a charm adorned to your bouquet would be a timeless memory or if you can find a tiny holder or something to that effect to place a tiny amount in (disclaimer to other posters, plz forgive me if I'm not using the proper terminology) and tie with a ribbon to your bouquet as a way of indicating he's walking with you to the altar.
My now hubby and I were widow/widower remarrying and we initially thought of incorporating our late spouses into our wedding with pictures but our theme was "new beginnings" and we didn't want to put our adult kids from our spouses through anything uncomfortable... besides weddings are joyous occasions, so we opted to instead remember them privately, just the two of us by planting two rose bushes at the cornerstone of both of our homes.

I'm sorry for your loss but I'd do it privately. Spreading ashes at the wedding even sounds kind of creepy.

I think the sentiment is lovely, but like PPs have said, as a guest I would be incredibly uncomfortable watching this. Weddings are happy, and while I’m sure spreading his ashes would give you peace, I don’t think that the time or place. Could you maybe wear a necklace or bracelet with his ashes inside instead?

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The idea is to leave a bit of him in a place that means something to us (not so much to have a memory of him there). We'll be having photos from both our parents weddings at the reception (my mom and dad were together for 33 years before he died, and my FH's parents have a long lasting marriage as well). Again, the plan wasn't to toss an entire corpse worth of ashes into the air mid-ceremony, but to find a private way to ceremoniously leave a bit of him behind, likely with just my FH and mom. I was just looking for suggestions as to when/how to do this in a way that was meaningful.

Thanks for the thoughts. My dad's ashes are literally in a cardboard box at my mom's house, so I've been really looking for a way to "release them" because right now they feel like this awful burden. My mom has zero interest in looking for companionship or even happiness, and I feel like the more we can untangle the sadness of his loss the more she'll be able to move on - she's been trapped in depression, loneliness, and guilt since he died 12 years ago (will be 12 years exactly in 2 days). I don't expect her to find a new love (she's 70 now) but I'd like her to allow herself to be happy. She feels guilty about cremating him (he never talked about what he wanted and died unexpectedly, and you kind of have to decide those things pretty quickly), and I feel guilty that his ashes are just in this cardboard box in a corner of a room in this huge house that is just falling apart without him there. I biked across the United States a year after he died and wished I had carried my ashes with him the whole way and spread a little every night in every place we stayed. Having his ashes in a cardboard box just feels "stuck."

I've thought about having diamonds made from my dad's ashes, but it's more than I can afford (they start at around $3k for a super small diamond, and ideally I'd get a matching set so my mom and I could each have one). I might look into other cremation jewelry options.

That should be private; it would be pretty unsettling for most people to witness that. And be aware that a LOT of locales have pretty strict laws regarding this sort of thing.

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Again, if you read through the comments, I was never planning to toss all my dads ashes into the air in the middle of our ceremony. I was requesting ideas about how to incorporate putting some of his ashes at our ceremony site (outside, on a hillside, away from buildings or public areas) with just my mom, FH, and maybe our photographer. It would be private, but I was wondering if anyone knew of any ceremonious ways to do so.

I really wish you could delete or close WW forums for comments. I'm really regretting ever asking this question.

View Quoted Comment Me too . It is not something to spring on people expecting a wedding . Your venue is sure to say no. Certain places, including any business not licenced, are prohibited from taking ashes or allowing them to be disposed of on their property.