Split families

My parents have been divorced for about 40 years. My step mother is immature and ridiculous about anything regarding my mother. Insert eye roll. I’ve informed all parties that no past issues/quarrels/disagreements will be a part of mine and my FH’s wedding day. If they can’t act like grown ups they can stay home.
Drop the ultimatum on them now and make sure they know that none of that crap will fly on your wedding day. Everyone will act like one big happy family.
Good luck to you!

Doesn’t sound like something you need to handle, sounds like a couple of adults who need to act like it for their child.

I agree with Kimberly. Its gonna suck, but you need to tell your parents to figure it out and get along for a day. Decide what you absolutely want - a picture with your parents, for example- and lay that out for them. I found it was easier to say " please allow me to eat a rehearsal dinner in peace" as opposed to blanketly telling them to behave. My mom is not a fan of my stepmom. She agreed to mind her manners but she will throwdown if they start something. Fingers crossed everyone can get along.

They need to be adults. Everyone has moved on right? There’s going to be pictures that will include everyone. But stand up for yourself. I love you all and you’re all important to me but please it’s one day- my day- can we be civil? Your mom sits closest to aisle, then your dad unless you’re mom has a so. Your step mom is furthest from aisle. Remind them in the future, there will be grandchildren that they will all want to be part of their life and they need to know how to act like adults.

I have divorced and step everything in my family. Everyone had assigned seats with buffers in between them, but other than that I didn’t get involved. My husband’s dad didn’t show up because of bitter feelings and that sucked but I wasn’t gonna let it ruin our day.

I’d sit them in the same row in the front but on opposite ends. And at different tables on the other wide of the venue from each other.

My parents divorced when I was in preschool, but neither has remarried, and they get along good enough nowadays (it was rocky when my brother and I were kids, but now that we're both adults out on our own, they don't really have cause to fight anymore lol). But my dad's side of the family is veryyy touchy - my dad is one of 5 siblings, and they are all feuding lol. So at first, my dad didn't even want me to invite certain aunts and uncles at all, but when I pushed back on that, now he's put himself in charge of the seating chart so he can control where they sit. So I eventually told him, and my other aunt and uncle who are on his side of the feud, "this is my wedding. I am expecting everyone to behave accordingly. If any of you are not going to be capable of that, do not attend" but so far, everyone seems to be agreeing that they will be civil and avoidant, which is I guess good enough lol

I have split families too. I have basically just told everyone is it my day and everyone will be respectful and polite. I also informed everyone that they will all be sitting in the front row for the ceremony and they will have separate tables near the front for the receptions. I have also set all expectations about who is included in what already, so they all know what to expect and they are no issues day of.

This isn't about them and they can sit next to each other for a 20 minute ceremony. They are adults.

My parents divorced 4 years ago and things with them are still pretty tense. My mom has dated a few people and my dad hasn’t ever really fully moved on. My mother has brought up how she doesn’t want to be near my father and/or anyone he may bring and I basically told her too bad. They chose to have a child together, the ceremony will last 30 minutes or so for us, and it’s not about them. They don’t need to speak to each other or be friendly, just sit there and take the ceremony in. If they can’t be adults that’s their problem. They can stay home. It sounds harsh to say, but it’s true. I think a lot of parents have a hard time remembering that the day is about you and your fiancé, not them. A harsh reminder is sometimes enough.

Parents have been divorced for 20 years. mom is remarried and dad and stepdad dont get along. Basically, mom told stepdad if he doesnt act right, he's going to be out of the picture. Dad and I already arent on the greatest of terms so he's getting a similar warning should it be necessary, I am putting them at opposite ends of my parents/grandparents table and for the ceremony, my maternal grandmother will be the buffer because she gets along better with my dad than stepdad.

My parents were separated when I was very young( i believe before kindergarten) and later divorced while I was in grade school. My parents both went through waves of partners but not my mom is with a man who lives with us for now about 8 years and my dad has been with his gf for about a year now. I plan to have my mom and dad walk me down(their so's will be sitting waiting for them). My mom and dad will both have a dance(split in half). I am thinking of giving my moms boyfriend a speech part as well.

I have been to a wedding similar to your situation and she was walked down with her dad because she is really really close to him. She did a dance with both her dad and her step dad. hope this helps !

Sit your parents where you would like them to sit and be upfront and honest with both your parents & their significant others and stand firm on what you say, if they want to act like misbehaved children then they will be treated as such. Let them know the day is about you and your fh and if anyone get out of line including them they will be escorted out from both the wedding ceremony and reception and don't feel embarrassed if they cut up, chances are your family and some of your fh family knows your parents situation or has been through it themselves. Don't allow no one to impose their foolishness upon you and your day. Hoping everything works out in your favor.

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What she said, most definitely ! Ultimatum, boo!

I would sit your mom, her husband, your dad, then your step mom in the front row. The alternative is to place one set of parents by your husband's parents so everyone can have a front row seat. This precise issue came up for us too.

Technically, the mom is supposed to sit front row, and your dad two rows behind that. I felt like it was wrong that one of our parents wouldn't get a front row seat to the wedding. I think we're going to place one set of split parents on one side and the other set by the spouse's parents.