Spin off... Gifting the same amount that was gifted to you at the wedding?

EH....I would probably do the same thing if the gift was larger and more $$$ than expected or anticipated...$50 maybe not but $100 more is definitely something I'd keep track of. I don't want to give a $100 gift to someone that gave me a $300-400 one!

I give what I can, because not everyone has enough money to give a large amount. For example, my bosses obviously make more money than I do. They give $100 to me each holiday (Birthday, Christmas, Secretary's Day) and I give them $25 each because I make a lot less than them and I have to buy for 4 bosses. Though one of them is a paralegal so they make less than attorneys and I usually get around $60 from her, but I still give $25 to her. If they gave me a $300 gift each, I still don't have $300 to give each of them a gift, 3 times a year. So I believe people do what they can.

I know exactly what you’re saying! Our BM hosted an amazing Bachelor party for DH and also put $100 in a card (he's insane - but they've been friends forever). DH and I already decided we are going all out when he gets married. He'll get money in a card and an amazing bachelor party in return

I like to make sure things are somewhat even but the knowledge you have after you record all of your gifts and write thank yous can be dangerous so beware!!!

I have many people who sent a “yes” RSVP yes and didn't come so we paid for food that didn't get eaten. I joked with DH that we should send them a bill (obviously just a joke). We also had people that came and didn't bring anything at all. I don't think I could ever go to an event and NOT bring a gift and if I said I would be there and couldn’t make it, I would send a card with money anyway. But that’s just me.

The specific situation I am dealing with now is: Our pastor and his wife are friends of ours. They sent an RSVP yes but did not come to the reception. Pastor’s wife just announced she’s pregnant. Normally I would buy a case of diapers and a card but I am hesitant because not only did they cost us money for the food they didn’t eat but we didn’t even get a card from them. Ugh! Sometimes knowledge isn’t power…

For the most part we have a standard number we give everyone, unless it is a sibling. We are the last of our friends and family to get married so I don't really have to worry about this, but if I did I'm sure I would still give our standard amount regardless of what they gave us.

I do plan on keeping track of how much we get though to personalize thank you notes for our guests. Example - If someone gives us $50, I'm not going to say "Thanks, we can't wait to go buy a dyson with your gift!"

I am the kind of person who does not take into account how much money is gifted or how much a goft is worth, when gifting tonothers. I look at my bank account, see how much i can afford, then go from there. We went tona wedding recently, where i had no extra money. I had enough tonget me to the next pay day and thats it. So i bought a nice card, and called it a day.

@Elyse I think that's a great idea. I like the idea of having a personalized thing instead of just a lump sum (I once got a thank you card that was going to the unemployed wife's IRA which took me back) but to each their own i guess!

My MIL does this. She asked for my gift list from my shower and I had to tell her no way.

However, one of our friends is getting married this weekend. Since they are so close to our own wedding I plan on giving them a check for the same amount they gave us. I feel like less would be rude, more would be braggy.

We didn't - but I was horrified when MIL asked us to tell her how much money her sister gave us so that she could give the same amount when her sister's son got married! I was annoyed by it, because apparently her sister isn't doing well financially right now, and I was surprised she gave us anything. MIL is doing fine financially, and could give a lot more.

I'm a firm believer in giving what you can. I don't think any amount of money makes your contribution more or less special.

@Staci I think that's a good point about how soon is the wedding. A lot of our guests will be relatively new graduates from college so I don't expect anything at all from them, and of course I plan on giving them gifts when they're married x number of years. However my other friend who's getting married a few months from me will probably get a similar amount