Future Mrs. A. 💍
VIP November 2020

Speeches !!!

Future Mrs. A. 💍, on November 22, 2019 at 11:58 AM Posted in Community Conversations 1 20
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Who will be giving speeches at your wedding?

Are you going to/have someone “proof read” them before hand to make sure nothing is said that you and FH/FW wouldn’t want..

Are you allowing SUPRISE speeches ? Lol
FH and I talked about it a little lastnight and we were fine with our MOH and BM making small speeches but that’s it..

20 Comments

  • Chandra
    Master May 2019
    Chandra ·
    • Flag
    We had the best man and Matron of honor give a formal speech. My dad gave a thank you, and my brother ended up doing one later in the night after some bugging from him haha.
    We didn't proof read or need anything okayed by us. They knew it wasn't really a time or place to be inappropriate.
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  • Melle
    Rockstar June 2019
    Melle Online ·
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    Groomsman and my moh. My fil also said a few words. My husband and I said a few words also
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  • Sarah
    VIP September 2019
    Sarah ·
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    BM and MOH did toasts and H and I got up and thanked everyone for coming. We didn’t read anyone’s toast prior to the wedding and no one said anything inappropriate.
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  • Jasmine
    Rockstar February 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    We're definitely gonna have the best man and MOH and then maybe our parents but that's probably it.
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  • Kelly
    Champion October 2018
    Kelly Online ·
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    My dad gave a toast before the first course of dinner and my MOHs and my husband’s best man gave toasts during the last course. We didn’t know what they were going to say beforehand.
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  • K
    Expert September 2020
    Ka-Rina ·
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    If there is something specific you don't want them to say I'd ask them not to. Proof reading and approving what loved ones would be saying is kinda weird, imo
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  • Meghan
    Rockstar October 2019
    Meghan ·
    • Flag

    My wife's best friend and my best friend gave our speeches. We did not do MOH's, just bridal party member's, which they were both a part of. My dad also gave a quick one. We did not proof read them. My best friend did ask beforehand if there was anything that was off limits. We just trusted them to be respectful and not do or say anything stupid.

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  • MrsD
    Legend July 2019
    MrsD ·
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    The best man gave his speech first, then the maid of honor, then my father. We didn't want to proofread them or have any input at all, I can't imagine needing to monitor a grown ups speech like that. We weren't worried about what they would say, they love us so wouldn't ever want to say anything negative. At our rehearsal dinner, my husband's father gave a short speech then 3 groomsmen & 3 bridesmaids also said toasts.

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  • Future Mrs. A. 💍
    VIP November 2020
    Future Mrs. A. 💍 ·
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    Exactly !! We are confident and comfortable with those giving speeches at our wedding


    - I’ve heard of some people basically making an outline for their party/those making speeches to go by for speeches and I was shocked by that.

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  • Future Mrs. A. 💍
    VIP November 2020
    Future Mrs. A. 💍 ·
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    Lol yeah of course- same here !
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  • Future Mrs. A. 💍
    VIP November 2020
    Future Mrs. A. 💍 ·
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    Oh of course !!! I was reading another post about it and the bride/groom basically gave the speakers an outline of what to go by like highlighted moments they wanted shared.. to me that was just kind of weird
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  • L
    Devoted August 2019
    Leaves232 ·
    • Flag
    My father-in-law and maid of honor gave the speeches at our wedding. My father-in-law's speech was off-the-cuff and totally incoherent - and we kinda expected that. My maid of honor's speech was beautiful and heartfelt, but too long. Even though it was nice to hear all these positive things about me, even I was like ok this is going on too long. I'm not sure how we would have had the speeches proofread in advance. You just have to set ground rules at the beginning!
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  • L
    Lady ·
    • Flag

    My dad, Best man, and MOH gave toasts (important distinction becuase toasts are short - speeches are long and no one like them). We definitely did not monitor anything ahead of time.

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  • Gen
    Master June 2019
    Gen ·
    • Flag
    My mom, best man, and maid of honor gave speeches. No one proofread them because we trusted them (they also told us what topics they were going to mention and asked if certain things were alright to say) but I could see how certain people you may want to proofread if you’re concerned.


    I’d strongly recommend NOT doing an “open mic” for speeches because (1) you never know what someone is going to say (2) you don’t want your guests to have to listen to endless speeches.
    We actually did basically an open mic for speeches at our rehearsal dinner which I thought was a nice idea (because it was a smaller and closer group of people). We had asked my brother, my father in law, and 2 friends to make speeches at the rehearsal dinner and then once they were done asked if anyone else wanted to say anything. The only person who did was my brother in law, who generally is not the best with words but, he just made a really short toast about how he’s never seen his brother happier and it was really sweet.
    Unfortunately my father in law (who we had actually asked in advance to give a rehearsal dinner speech) was “THAT GUY” who gave “the speech” you see in every rom com where the bride and groom have their mouths dropped with disbelief and “did he actually just say that” and the guests are cringing. Yep that happened. Luckily only the rehearsal dinner though! My mom said if his speech had been at the wedding she 100% would’ve gotten up and taken the microphone. Like it was THAT bad.......... Which is why I strongly recommend being careful who you ask to speak at the wedding 🤦🏻‍♀️😂
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  • Ivy ORP
    VIP October 2019
    Ivy ORP ·
    • Flag

    We didn't expect any speeches other than our thank you and presentation of the birthday cookie for her sister and our officiant's wife. Her son surprised us with the sweetest words before turning the microphone over to our best friends who cried and made us cry with sweet and short toasts. Two additional friends simply shared kind words and we loved every single second of it. At no point would I think to screen their words. These were people that mean so much to us and I would never try to control them or what they say and do. If you only want you MOH and best man to give speeches, that's fine but I hope you won't ask to proof read. Maybe just make a few reasonable requests like no discussing that party that one time.

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  • Meghan
    Super September 2019
    Meghan ·
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    Maid of Honor, Best Ma'am and BIL who was a groomsman gave speeches. We didn't ask to see them first. I would have felt weird asking to see them in advance.

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  • Taylor
    Rockstar October 2020
    Taylor ·
    • Flag

    The BM, Maid, and Matron are welcome to give a toast. I'm not going to proof them. I think they'll be tasteful.

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  • Mrs. Sarantos
    Master November 2019
    Mrs. Sarantos ·
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    We’re doing a thank you, our best man and moh are giving a small speech and we’re not reading them first
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Rockstar December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    My MOH and one of my BMs are planning to make a speech. I'm not planning to proof them beforehand - I want to be surprised Smiley smile

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  • Btbride
    Super August 2019
    Btbride ·
    • Flag
    We did just maid of honor and best man, and we gave a little speech after (well, my husband did) thanking everyone. We didn’t proof them because we trusted them not to say anything bad, haha. The best man, my husband’s brother, surprised us with a beautiful emotional speech that’s one of my favorite memories of the day!
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