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VIP September 2016

Speeches VS Toasts

Shelby_Erin26, on February 5, 2016 at 6:21 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5

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Whats the difference between a speech and a toast?

I was thinking about having the MOH and BM do their speech at the RD and only doing a quick toast at the wedding. That way they don't have to talk in front of so many people and also because I'm a crier and if MOH starts crying too then makeup and snot will be everywhere.

But then I got to thinking, are they the same thing or is it ok to do it separately like that? What did you do at your RD and wedding speech/toast wise?

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5 Comments

Latest activity by None, on February 5, 2016 at 6:34 PM

Super October 2015
None · on February 5, 2016 at 6:28 PM
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Ask them what they prefer, or if they plan on doing a toast at all.
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VIP September 2020
Pabby13 · on February 5, 2016 at 6:28 PM
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Others correct me if I'm wrong, but I think usually the bride and groom do a toast to the guest and families to thank them for coming?
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VIP June 2017
Nicole · on February 5, 2016 at 6:30 PM
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A speech usually has a quick toast at the very end. Usually.
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VIP September 2016
Shelby_Erin26 · on February 5, 2016 at 6:31 PM
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@Aurelia I still need to ask them if they even want to, but I have a feeling they will. Maybe like you said I can ask how they would prefer to do it.

@Shelly I know FH and I were planning on doing a toast to say thank you to all our guests but I think it's traditional for the BM and MOH to say a little something too.
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Super October 2015
None · on February 5, 2016 at 6:34 PM
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Shelly, in my experience (and at my own wedding!) the person who hosts the rehearsal dinner gives a toast. In our case, it was my husbands family. The only toasts at our wedding were MOH and Best Man, they weren't really "speeches", more like 30 second blips about us as a couple. My MOH almost didn't do a toast (I told her she didn't even have to, and nobody would notice) since she hates large groups, so I think it's nice to give them the choice.

I'm really not a fan of dictating anything. Not saying OP is doing that. Shelby, did your wedding party express interest in doing a speech or toast? If not, ask them without any pressure if they planned on it so you can have the DJ announce it (If at your wedding), or if they want to do it at RD.

Speeches and toasts IMO are kind of overrated. Not in the sense that they aren't special, but in the sense that people feel like they usually HAVE to happen at weddings. I can't even remember most speeches at weddings, and most people (if you really look around) aren't paying attention.

Ask them what would make them happiest/most comfortable.
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