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Karla
Beginner April 2023

Speeches - Are they really necessary?

Karla, on August 5, 2022 at 2:07 PM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 18
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Hello! My family and fiancé's family are big introverts. I'm not sure if they are willing to give a formal speech/toast (also don't want to make them uncomfortable or pressure anyone to giving a speech). We also wont be having a wedding party!

Is it necessary to have family/ friends give speeches? My fiancé and I were hoping to give one speech together to thank our guests for coming during dinner. Is this enough?

18 Comments

Latest activity by Casey, on August 12, 2022 at 12:46 AM
  • Cece
    Rockstar November 2022
    Cece Online ·
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    A simple thank you speech by you and/or your fiancé is definitely enough. Formal speeches/toasts are definitely not necessary (and oftentimes quite cumbersome for guests).
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  • R
    Rosebud ·
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    Absolutely not necessary, you can ask if anyone wants to give a speech (no pressure) and if not just skip it. Toasts can also be done at the rehearsal if someone wants to give one but in front of a smaller group. Best wishes!

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  • Michelle
    Rockstar December 2022
    Michelle ·
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    100% optional and many weddings skip them. Toasts (3 minutes or less, a speech is 5+ minutes which many try to avoid) are not done in our circles, mainly because people don’t like public speaking at all, and the couples don’t like that much spotlight even among the extroverts, and no one has ever said “that wedding was awesome but we felt conned by no toasts”. Also a thank you toast to guests is not done in our circles, and no one feels slighted by it as “poor hosting”. Many people opt to have them at the rehearsal dinner instead, but not required and no one should ever be pressured into it. During planning, we listened to a few on videography sample clips and felt a bit uncomfortable watching them so that solidified our decision to not have any. If someone really wants to speak, they can do so at the rehearsal dinner, but all of of our attendants are pretty introverted so it’s not likely to happen.


    Do what works for you and your guests.
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  • Imani
    Rockstar July 2022
    Imani ·
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    Definitely not necessary. My sister was my MOH & she’s an introvert. I told her if she wasn’t comfortable she didn’t have to do the speech. However, she wanted to and it was super short. Maybe a minute or so. I’d recommend asking them and if they’re not up for it, it’s okay to not have them do it.
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  • Michael
    Devoted October 2023
    Michael ·
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    I wouldn't require anyone to do give a toast (or speech). However, some people may want to honor you, as a couple, in that fashion. I guess it also depends whether you are ready for what they might share.

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  • Jacks
    Champion November 2054
    Jacks ·
    • Flag

    Really not necessary. I would have you and your FI stand up to quickly thank everyone for coming, if you feel comfortable doing that.

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  • Julija
    Devoted October 2023
    Julija ·
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    Speeches are totally up to the couple. So long as you and your fiancé thank everyone for coming out that is the only one that NEEDS to happen in my opinion. 🥰
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  • Taylor
    Rockstar October 2022
    Taylor ·
    • Flag
    We have introverted members of our party and we ourselves are also introverted lol. We’d rather not sit through toasts tbh. We’re not going to do any except maybe a small one ourselves
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  • Gillian
    Dedicated October 2022
    Gillian ·
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    I would definitely have one person at minimum thank guests for coming, after that, I don’t think guests really care about toasts and speeches
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  • Erin
    Devoted May 2022
    Erin ·
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    Totally up to you. Both our families are traditional and didn’t mind giving speeches, so parents, MOH (my sister), his sister and brother-in-law, and best man gave speeches, but we did not give a thank you speech because we are very introverted and also no one expected it. If you don’t feel strongly about having other people do speeches, you do you.
    Really only the couple themselves ever appreciate the speeches. Sometimes they can get inappropriate or out of hand though. I went to one wedding where the best man revealed to everyone that he and the groom purposely sunk the boat his father gifted him and then the maid of honor told everyone “jokingly” the bride had always been an angry person that held grudges and sulked, even as a kid. Yikes….
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  • Michael
    Devoted October 2023
    Michael ·
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    I think others can enjoy some of the speeches but it does not bode well to have the dirty laundry out at this time. I wonder what the MOH's point was. Hopefully it was humor that everyone could detect. Yikes again. I think the DJ needed to be ready to crank up the music.

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  • Erin
    Devoted May 2022
    Erin ·
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    Hahaha indeed! The redeeming part though was that the father of the bride gave his speech in Kinglon!
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  • Michael
    Devoted October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Oh my. Did he have a translator too? An you are telling me the groom stuck around after that?

    If there is not a good story or blessing, that would be what I would be hoping for. Also, we can show our gratitude. Still need the DJ ready ... maybe play the Star Trek theme

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  • Erin
    Devoted May 2022
    Erin ·
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    Yep he translated it all back in English right after! Everyone was laughing so hard 😂
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  • Michael
    Devoted October 2023
    Michael ·
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    Maybe it will work out best if I write everybody's speech. But it does seem important to let some people share. That is part of what the celebration is about.

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  • Karla
    Beginner April 2023
    Karla ·
    • Flag

    Thank you all for your great comments! & Yikes for bad toasts. It confirmed how I was feeling about it. We'll mostly like just give a small toast and thank you to our guests.

    • Reply
  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
    • Flag

    I been to weddings where no one gave a speech at all, not even the groom and bride. so i think skipping is fine

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  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
    • Flag
    We had 0 speeches, we didn't miss them and I doubt anyone else did either
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