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Just Said Yes July 2020

Speeches advice

Sydney, on March 11, 2020 at 12:53 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 6
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For our wedding we plan to have my MOH give a speech and possibly my FH’s best man, only if he feels comfortable speaking in front of a large crowd. In addition, my FH would like his other best friend, a girl he’s known since middle school, to give a speech. He spoke at her wedding and would like her to do the same at ours. She isn’t part of the actual wedding party- we get along fine but I just don’t feel I know her well enough to include as a bridesmaid. I’m wondering how this will flow during the ceremony (i.e. not following tradition of MOH and BM giving a speech). I just don’t want it to seem weird to guests to see a random person not in the wedding party getting up to give a speech (and potentially make other guests think they can get up to give a speech too), but maybe I’m overthinking things? Our wedding will be more non traditional in other aspects but this is one thing I’m grappling with as I’ve always viewed speeches done more traditionally.


  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
    • Flag

    I don't know if I'd ask someone who's not in the wedding party (or an immediate family member, like a parent) to give a speech. Technically, anyone can be asked, but I wouldn't feel like it was fair to ask them to do the prep and then do some public speaking if they weren't recognized as a bridal party member.

    In that vein, I'm not sure why your FI wouldn't just have her as a groomswoman/his best woman if they're quite close?

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  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2020
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    I don’t think it’s a big deal as long as you announce that she will be giving a speech and don’t open up the floor I think people will get that they can’t make one too. I’d also emphasize to her that she can make one if she feels comfortable but she absolutely does not need to.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
    • Flag
    I’ve never seen anyone give a speech during the ceremony, so I would find that more odd than the fact that she wasn’t in the wedding party. I honestly doubt anyone will think twice about it. I would just make sure the DJ (or officiant?) knows to take the mic back and not let anyone else speak.
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  • A
    Expert May 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    Are the girl and the best man friends as well? If so, you could have the two of them go up together. He could say something at the end like Cheers to the Bride and Groom?

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  • Neeva
    Super September 2020
    Neeva ·
    • Flag

    I think it's fine to let someone give a speech if they're not in the bridal party.

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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2020
    Jennifer ·
    • Flag

    Would she be speaking during the ceremony? Traditionally, speeches are given at the reception. I would simply have her go before or after the best man, with both of them going after the MOH!

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