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Super August 2019

Speaking in front of people

Michelle, on July 23, 2019 at 10:29 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 10

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I absolutely HATE speaking in public! But FH and I decided to write our own vows which we will read out loud in front of all of our guests. 🥺 We are less than a month out and I was just reading another post about reading love letters and I suddenly got butterflies. I'm so afraid I will throw up it's not even funny! 🤢 I love the idea of speaking our own words to each other but I literally shake and my heart pounds and my face turns red when I speak in public. I'm so nervous! FH assures me I'll be fine but he's a teacher so he doesn't mind speaking in front of people and doesn't know what it feels like to be petrified of it. Ugh. Anyone else get this feeling?

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Theresa, on July 23, 2019 at 9:12 PM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on July 23, 2019 at 10:45 AM
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Ah yea Public speaking is not my forte. So I was so nervous reading my vows but... At the ceremony it felt like no one else was there but me and him. So I was able to read mine through fine. So just focus on your man
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Master September 2020
Jessica · on July 23, 2019 at 10:51 AM
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Yes! Public speaking is one if the most common fears, you are not alone! Focus on your FH, hold his hands, and practice multiple times! When I’ve had to give speeches (different, but similar) I’ve practiced them at least 15+ times before giving them and It helped me feel more comfortable. You can read directly from paper if you want, but still practice it! Maybe ask trusted friends- MOH, BMs, your parents, etc if you can practice with them. Also, don’t lock your knees standing up there, keep them slightly bent and breathe!
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Super September 2019
Meghan · on July 23, 2019 at 11:01 AM
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I hate public speaking too. Is there anyone you can practice reading them in front of? I've had enough experience now giving presentations in school and stuff that I'm pretty sure I should be able to make it through the ceremony but I am still nervous. Even just reading out loud by yourself can help. It's really all just the build up because most of the time it's over before you know it and really not that bad.
Beforehand you can try doing a breathing exercise a yoga instructor used to do with us where you take deep breath through your nose and think "in with the good" then breathe out through your mouth and think "out with the bad." It helped me calm down before my Master's exam.
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VIP August 2019
Alicia · on July 23, 2019 at 11:02 AM
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FH and I are both terrible public speakers, so we decided to do the letters to each other instead of writing our own vows. Basically the same words and thought, just in a much less stressful way. BUT, I'm sure you will do great! Just focus on your FH and forget that anyone else is there. Just speak your vows to him just like you would talk to him in any other conversation!
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Super October 2020
Brittany · on July 23, 2019 at 11:20 AM
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Public speaking is one of the most common fears. People would rather drown than to speak in public. I think it is very normal. When up there just remember to breathe in through your nose and out your mouth and you can take as long as you need to (even though in your head it feels a lot longer) and you can practice it to get more confident. I think once you are up there and you see you FH and want to share everything to them that it will go smoothly.
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Super August 2019
Michelle · on July 23, 2019 at 4:02 PM
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I can definitely practice reading them. My biggest issue is knowing people are looking at me. Lol I had to read some poetry that I had published in college in front of people and I talked so fast no one understood me.
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Super August 2019
Michelle · on July 23, 2019 at 4:03 PM
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I hope so!
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Master August 2019
Allie · on July 23, 2019 at 4:04 PM
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Yeah, we wanted to do our own vows and recite them but it was just too much pressure for both of us. We will be reciting traditional vows.
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Super August 2019
Michelle · on July 23, 2019 at 7:20 PM
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At this point I don't think it's a matter of the content. It's just the thought of saying something with a bunch of people staring at me. Ugh
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Expert May 2010
Theresa · on July 23, 2019 at 9:12 PM
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I realize that public speaking is real fear for some people, but this isn't really public speaking. These are people you love enough to invite them to share your special day! There is nothing you can say that they will consider embarrassing or negative in any way. They're happy for you and will think whatever you say is sweet and loving for your new spouse! I'd say don't be nervous, I know you will be. So, try not to be nervous!
Congratulations to you both!
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