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Just Said Yes October 2021

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Chaney, on November 12, 2020 at 3:54 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 4

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Hi. So my fiancé and I are wanting to elope at a state park about 2 hours from our hometown on a Thursday at sunset. We then will have a large reception in our hometown the next day (Friday).

We choose a Thursday for the “ceremony” because we were set on a certain photographer who was previously booked all weekends AND it is better for a state park on a weekday. Fewer tourists.
Here’s the issue: we already asked our bridesmaids and groomsmen to be next to us. However, I feel like it is kind of pointless to have them drive 2 hours to stand next to us for 20 minutes then drive home. Also, I want to be able to take photos after the ceremony and not worry about the wedding party standing around bored..
I’m not sure what to do. Should we just do away with the wedding party? Is it okay to ask them to drive 2 hours, stand through the ceremony, then drive home? Any ideas on what we could plan for the wedding party while we take photos?
Thanks for any advice!

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4 Comments

Latest activity by Yasmine, on November 14, 2020 at 1:23 AM

Devoted September 2022
Soon2Bemarried · on November 12, 2020 at 4:05 PM
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If you’re set on eloping the traditional way, no one would be there except the couple and the officiant. But think about it this way: 1) if you weren’t eloping 2) were having a ceremony and 3) still had a wedding party...you’d expect your wedding party to be at your wedding ceremony and they’d be there no matter how far the drive.

So if it’s the case the wedding party is okay with coming and you wouldn’t mind them being there, I say why not. You can also take a few pics with your wedding party. It’s not pointless, it’s a moment that you’ll remember forever 💫
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Master September 2020
Nicole · on November 12, 2020 at 6:18 PM
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Ours wasn't a planned elopement, but we ended up getting married on a Thursday morning with just our parents and a sibling each in attendance. Our wedding party was not there. I know my bridesmaids were bummed that they couldn't be there for the ceremony, but it just didn't work out with our 1000 changes in plans. I would reach out to your wedding party and tell them what you plan on doing and let them decide if they want to make the drive (unless you'd rather they not come altogether). If they do decide to come, is there an AirBNB you all can stay in on Thursday night? That way, they can go hang out at the AirBNB while you guys are taking your pictures and then you can all celebrate together when you're done.
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Master April 2021
Michelle · on November 12, 2020 at 10:53 PM
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How about you give them the option? Let them know your plans, the travel time etc. Let them know that there’s no pressure for them to go. Most importantly you do want them there to celebrate the next day though!
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Master October 2020
Yasmine · on November 14, 2020 at 1:23 AM
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I agree with this!
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