Some family members should not be invited

Ones you haven’t talked to in years:


I found a good rule of thumb on all things wedding is if you find your self saying you “SHOULD” invite them or do this or that, this is someone else’s idea not your own. I found replacing should with I “WANT” helped me figure out where to draw the lines and if it was something I felt I wanted. Another thing to keep in mind this is not a family reunion for everyone to see each other, this is a party for you and your other half.

Best to invite in circles, e.g. invite those who are friends with each other and/or of similar age. I stopped my guestlist at second cousins and children. If you are concerned about parents' friends and not family members, you can each give your parents/guardians a set number of open slots for them to decide who. Doesn't matter if they're strangers as you've now given them the choice and it's off your plate. Some couples give both sets of parents equal # of slots.


I was invited recently to a wedding where they invited some of the aunts/ uncles and their adult kids, but not other aunts/uncles (siblings of those invited). It defies all etiquette and creates drama. I am now an obligatory invite as I don't know the couple. I will decline so at least the couple can seat a personal friend. My husband still wants to go despite me telling him it's not his family reunion. So I second reminding everyone, it's your wedding, not a family reunion. Of course, if you're not paying for your wedding yourselves, there will be some negotiation involved. Best wishes.

I should not have invited my some family members & couple of girlfriends too.

My husband & I invited only who WE wanted. 36 people. It was magical #noregrets.

We will only be inviting those that both of us knew before we got engaged and we see them at least once a year, even if we never ralk to them besides "hi, bye, please give me the salt". That includes family, parent's friends we don't dislike... as well as our friend's romantic partners 😀😆. And for those who never met one of us, the parents (or friends when it's about their significant other) had to arrange a meeting before the RSVP deadline, it's important for us... we don't want to get to know them... we want to see their face before the big day... so we already know this woman is a mom's friend or that couples are in-laws family's lifetime friends, this girl is a cousin's girlfriend, etc...
We don't want anyone to be introduced to us on the day on, it's a non-negociable thing.

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I agree with you.