So Much Fighting

I am not sure and cannot say with 100% certainty that is the cause and reason behind the feuding between you and your fiance, but it could potentially be.
Is there any other major stressful events or people happening in/on yours or his side that could be causing it to be blown up to the point it is at now?

View Quoted Comment He's currently sick and we've been trying to get my expired license renewed but can't without an appointment which our state and Dmvs don't have any until the end of the month. Which also means we can't get out marriage license.

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Oh okay, so it definitely is multi-faceted with the arguing. Between him not feeling well, which is already makes it difficult to feel good and happy, and the issue with your drivers license/marriage license.

My fiance is having the same issue with his drivers license, as it is due to expire at the end of this month and he tried to renew online but isn't able to. So he has to make an appointment to do so, but isn't able to get an appointment until January.

I can understand the extra stress that all this is causing for both of you, but remember to take a moment and take a breath. Don't let the stress win and it cause friction between the two of you. If you and him are talking, and it seems as if the conversation is starting to get out of control to where it is turning into an argument, take the extra moment to breathe even if you and/or him have to walk away from the current situation to take an extra few. But don't let it loom in the air, make sure to revisit that same situation/topic in a calm manner in order to talk/figure it out.

You both will make and get through it, love conquers all!

Threatening to find someone else definitely doesn't sound normal/healthy. Wedding stress is one thing, but you can't say hurtful things like that. Or threaten each other.

Yep, definitely. If you guys never fight like that its probably not a coincidence. Stress puts people on edge and every little thing can start to bother you, i wouldnt worry about it unless it continues for a long time

I got married last year, but I can only imagine that getting married this week is especially stressful; you have pre-wedding jitters, COVID, and the uncertainty about the election.

However, I do think it's a bit much to threaten to find someone else - that doesn't sound healthy.

Deep breaths & lots of well wishes.

Stress will get to you! Planning a pandemic wedding was the hardest thing and I definitely let it get to me and took it out on my husband at times and in ways that I should not have. I would say it's normal to fight, but not normal to hold a grudge and not move on together. You guys got this!!

I have been married to dh for 23 years. We argued A LOT. However, I never said bad words, or even the words like “leave” l, “someone else, or “divorce”. To me that’s crossing my limit. You can say whatever you want in an argument, just don’t be toxic to each other.


Now, since your wedding is in 4 days.... Do you love him? Do you want to work it out? If no, cancel the wedding. If yes, schedule a counseling asap. Learn to argue “the right way”.
Sending hugs, and hoping for luck to come your way ❤️

View Quoted Comment I love him very much. And been married for 5.5 years and this is our vow renewal and the party we never got to have the first time.
We've made it through so much in those 5 years but this seems like it's the straw that will break the camel.
We've

It could be, but it is hard to say to sure. I can tell you that I almost called off my wedding two weeks beforehand. I was so stressed and my husband was in Alaska on a vacation for a week. I was mad at him for going on vacation and not being there to help me. My mom and his sister both had to talk me off the edge.

Wedding planning for sure has added stresses and so remember it is important to take time to just be with each other and not do anything related to wedding planning

Omg! YEEEEES. My hubby & I had a “maybe we shouldn’t get married” fight the week of. Stop. Breathe. It can help to express how much stress you feel, that you love each other, hug, apologize, go for a walk together. Try giving up something for the other person to start the compromise. Maybe set some ground rules for a few days... no yelling or name calling.


Honestly, considering ditching things at this point that aren’t critical or get some help. All you need: outfits, officiant, good food & drinks. Guests DO NOT notice any details so let those go.
🤗 🤗

View Quoted Comment I'm confused, if you are already married, why do you need a marriage license?

I think all the stress can definitely led to arguments. But threatening/accusing each other of things or saying go find someone else would cross the line for me. Even in the heat of the moment I wouldn’t be ok with it. Take a breather, collect your thoughts and relax. Talk to each other when you are in the right head space.

Arguing is one thing but it’s not good to tear each other apart. Stress can cause so much chaos in your lives. Praying for peace in your lives...

I'm praying for peace, love and happiness for you guys. It's more than likely the stress of the wedding being so close along with the normal stresses of life. My fiance and I since planning the wedding along with buying a house, we have bickered back and forth a little more than usual but nothing serious.

View Quoted Comment The driver's license is not the only acceptable think. For ID, an expired license is good for months, if presented with your birth certificate, or passport, voting card. Check itout, and present the expired card. Counties and srates vary in their laws, but as the clerk's office that does excise taxes, auto registration renewals and various other things shares terminals with Motor Vehicles, they pulled my husband's expired license up, found not reported lost or stolen, checked picture, id info, and said they do not care if his licence is current while in the office, as only his right to drive has expired. His face and other information shows he is the same person as that OD, online, and they can pull up other things. " Just don't drive away" .

Squabbling is often merely a sign of stress. Bite your tongue before saying anything unforgivable, or mean. I had my professional exams, and had taken finals the week before my first husband and I were getting married. His mom was making life miserable. He fell on his bike, sand at a corner, sprained one knee and ankle, scraped all the sock and sin off the other. Packing to move, wedding. I stormed out after one interuption too many studying, something little. Coming back, looked into a candy shop tourist place. Laughed, remembering my grampa, whose solution to my grandma's nagging was to keep chilled caramels. I bought molasses candy and caramels. Every time FI or anyone else would be difficult, I bit into a big, cold, chewy cany. by the time I finished, 4-5 minutes, I was over stewing, ignoring what I would not deal with. Even 1 sided, it worked. He began to realize he was ranting or arguing with nobody, because I was eatin candy.
Find something non-verbal to cut the bickering pattern. Don't spend 2 weeks undoing the damage you did this week.

View Quoted Comment Do you have a passport? In NY at least you could use a passport in place of a driver’s license. I really looked into this because I don’t know where my birth certificate is, so I had to get my baptismal certificate which was much easier to do and cheaper.

I’m so sorry to hear that you’re experiencing this! I hope that it all gets out before the wedding. We didn’t fight once during the planning process, but on thing went wrong on our wedding day with our photographer and it’s like all the stress from wedding planning and the chaos of picture taking caused a fight and ruined our evening. I pray that all is well and that he’s feeling better!!!