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Wendy
Super August 2021

So mad!!!! Guests bringing their kids or other ppl not invited!!

Wendy, on August 25, 2019 at 9:42 PM Posted in Planning 0 17
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We are having a DW in Cancún, I sent the save the dates, and I specifically said “ADULTS ONLY”... I don’t want any kids.. there will only be 2 which are my FH nephews and they are 10 & 11.. it is only close friends and family but I agree to invite some of our parents friends that I also know.. on the Save the date I said Mr and Mrs, to make sure they knew it’s only them 2.

Well, now 2 of my mom’s friends have told her that they are bringing their kids... one has 4 kids, the smallest is 13 I think.. which I don’t mind the age but that means I have to pay $45 for 4 additional people
i did not invite! And the other one invited their daughter which is a adult! So now I have 5 additional people I have to pay for..

Like I don’t understand why people
dont understand what adults only mean! And what addressing something to them alone means!!

I still haven’t send the invites and we are still about a year out, how would you handle this to make sure only the people you invite show up and no children!!!?

thanks in advance!

17 Comments

Latest activity by Wendy, on August 28, 2019 at 9:21 AM
  • Shelby
    Just Said Yes November 2020
    Shelby ·
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    I would kindly tell them that due to budgeting you cannot permit them to bring extras.
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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    I think people understand what adults only means, the issue is that you want people to travel out of the country without their children. This is something that you should have expected to receive pushback on. If you don’t want kids there, stick to your guns, but expect some people to decline.
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  • Kristin
    Super November 2019
    Kristin ·
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    I can understand not wanting to leave your children for a destination wedding, I know the 1 I went to in Costa Rica ended up being a 5 day trip which I know can be hard for parents. Is it possible that they plan to bring their kids for the trip but not to the wedding festivities? It sounds like 13 is the youngest (and I know we were left on our own growing up at that age) so maybe while they might be at your destination they won't be attending? I would say stick to your guns. You can't control if people bring extra's on the trip, but maybe remind them that those extras will not be able to attend the wedding festivities. My friend had a VERY strict head count to adhere to and fines for additional guests were extreme, you could use this as an excuse for not having the kids join the festivities, even if it might not be entirely true. The kids would still be close by, and maybe even join the dancing and party after the meal etc... rather just "wedding crashers" that show up after the fact?

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  • Jeanie
    Super February 2020
    Jeanie ·
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    They can bring their kids with them to Cancun, but that doesn’t mean they can bring them to the wedding. At 13+ years old, they should be able to stay out of trouble while their parents come to your wedding. I would let those who want to bring their kids know that they still will not be permitted at the wedding or any other wedding related activities you plan. I have no idea why people are so presumptuous when it comes to inviting their kids to weddings they are not invited to. I’ve seen this complaint so many times, and it blows my mind every time! Good luck!
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  • Ingrid
    VIP October 2020
    Ingrid ·
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    Since they are friends of your mom's, have her pay for the extra people that are coming or have her tell them that the extra people aren't invited. Her friends, her problem.
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  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    Let them know that while they're obviously able to decided to travel to Cancun with their children, the children are unfortunately not invited to the wedding. Budget restrictions.
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  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    And, this.
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  • Amber
    Devoted April 2022
    Amber ·
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    This is exactly why we chose an Adults Only resort for our DW lol When you send the invite, I’d write on the RSVP card “2 seats have been reserved in your honor” and write on the Invite that it’s Adults Only.
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Yes!!! That’s exactly the planSmiley smile
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Yeah I understand... I’m fine with declines.. originally was only 30 ppl which is about the amount I’d really want to show up, everyone else is extras our parents have invited smh..
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    I actually didn’t even think about that!!!! That is a great idea.. they can bring them along but I will definitely restrict them from attending the wedding !!! Thank you Smiley smile
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Yes!!! Someone else also suggested this which I didn’t even think about.. great idea! Thank you Smiley smile
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    My mom pay??? Hahaha yeah right.. my mom probably expecting me to pay for her as well smh.. diff story.. but yes I will have her tell her that the kids ain’t invited to the wddding but she can bring them along to the resort..
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Yes!!!! Thank you! Didn’t think about this
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    I’m doing RSVP online only and I have added it on the website that it’s Adults only and I will on the invites as well.. and only add the name of who’s invited so they can’t add extra ppl Smiley smile
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  • Jennifer
    Super September 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    The online RSVPing will definitely help. That's how I am doing mine so that you literally can only RSVP for who is named 😂. We have a Q&A page on our site that gets into the whole no random guest stuff and we already decided we won't be accommodating anyone extra or uninvited or who never RSVP'd... on the Q&A for the deadline I have: Remember the old saying that no answer is an answer!

    I'm not playing games with people. We have a large B list simply because we are keeping things very intimate and have such large family and friend circles, so if you can't RSVP then you probably can't show up either ✌🤷🏻‍♀️.
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  • Wendy
    Super August 2021
    Wendy ·
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    Oh wow I actually like that idea! I need to do that!!!! Thank you Smiley winking
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