So i need some help with Decisions any advise

Marriage is about compromise, and wedding planning is definitely 1 of the first big compromises at the start of that journey. You two need to sit down and talk about what each other wants. It is not just your day. It is just as much his wedding day as it is yours. Men are conditioned to not care about their weddings, but the reality is that they do care. They may not care so much about the color of the napkins, but they typically care about the big picture. I would sit down with him, tell him you really want to listen to the vision he has of his wedding, and then see how you can blend his vision with yours. How many people do each of you envision there? How much money can you comfortably save for this day? How much are you comfortable spending compared to prices in your area (or wherever you wish to get married)? You need to jointly know the answers to these questions to pick a date. And really, picking a date is dependent on the venue. Typically, you want to get a general sense of guest count, budget, and time of year before shopping for a venue, which locks in your date.

Its his day too so it’s best to compromise. Confirm with him what he thinks is a “big wedding”. Is he referring to the actual guest count or that he doesn’t want a grand event and would prefer something intimate. Once you have a clear understanding of his vision and he has a clear understanding of yours, meet in the middle. I’d get a list of who he wants to invite and add who you’d want to invite as well and see if the numbers align. If not, say he wants 50 people and you want 100, then your number would be 75. If you’re planning for a 2021 wedding I’d start planning now. Most is not all dates in July may be already gone due to its popularity and 2020 brides having to postpone.

View Quoted Comment Well we have discussed it before kinda. His Ideal wedding is going to the court house. Signing the paper. Go though the ceremony. And going out to eat with his and my immediate family. No friends. No cousins. No aunts or uncles.
(His sister did that). I did tell him at the time that is not how I would want to get married and told him what I wanted.
A year or so later we are engaged and it’s hard for me to get info out of him.

View Quoted Comment His guest count would include his parents. His three sisters. His brother. My sister. My parents. That’s it. And I know it’s his day too which is why this bothers me. I want it to be special for him as well.

View Quoted Comment Is he unwilling to compromise? How many guests would you like to invite ? Did he give a reason why he that’s what he wants ?

Compromise. How many guests does he want? How many do you want? Then settle on a number in between.

Definitely talk to him but what he means by a small wedding vs a big wedding. My FH kept saying he wanted a small wedding but when asked he meant having a super casual event with like everyone who had been in our lives for the past ten years. He comes from a Chinese family so weddings for his culture are super over the top events with like fifteen courses of food served for the reception. We comprised with lowering the guest count to fit our budget.
I also had problems getting him to talk planning at first, would ask his opinion on something and he would respond with "whatever you want" but then when I started talking food he got super involved.
After figuring out what he means by small vs big wedding find that thing your FH is passionate about and let him take charge of it. Is he really into music, photography, food, or something else that will help plan your day? Maybe he doesn't care about look of the table settings but can talk for hours about what wine would pair well with dinner or the differences between whiskey and bourbon. I've been to weddings were they had a full service coffee bar because the groom was a big coffee drinker so he was in charge of finding and hiring that vender. And let me tell you he was talking about it so much before the day.