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Savvy June 2020

So future sister in law wanting to wear beige ...

Blahboo, on December 3, 2019 at 9:33 AM Posted in Wedding Attire 0 11

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Hi all ,

Backstory I didn’t choose my future sister in law to be a bridesmaid as we aren’t close but I still wanted to include her and make her feel special. I ended up asking her to walk down the aisle with my niece (her daughter) ..

I had a conversation with her earlier where I said that I know she previously mentioned that she wanted to match the bh dresses so I suggested she where navy to compliment the theme . Her response was “isn’t navy abit too dull and for older people to wear?” Then after some back and forth she told me she wanted to wear beige as it would suit her skin tone the dress is short and has heavy lace and sequins and looks very bridal..
My wedding dress has off white color so I know it would clash ... anyone else been in this situation ? I know I can’t control what she wears I’m just upset that she wouldn’t include me in the conversation

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11 Comments

Latest activity by Melle, on December 3, 2019 at 9:34 PM

VIP November 2021
· on December 3, 2019 at 9:49 AM
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It is YOUR wedding so actually you can kind of control what she wears. I would just politely say - I’m sorry you can wear one of these colors because that is what our color scheme is. And have her choose from what YOU want.
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VIP November 2021
· on December 3, 2019 at 9:51 AM
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Sorry I think you need to be a little more bold. She should be honored to be a part of the wedding itself so she shouldn’t be difficult about it. Obviously have a dress that fits her body style comfortably but as for color, no, stand your ground politely and hopefully she respects you enough to understand
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Champion November 2016
LB · on December 3, 2019 at 10:09 AM
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Eh I'd let it go. It's a short beige dress. Absolutely no one is going to think shes the bride. Pick your battles.
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 3, 2019 at 10:17 AM
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How did you find out? I would nicely sit with her and just say that you ask that she wear a different color than beige as that would be too close to your dress. You're allowing her to choose her color but it is not proper etiquette for her to wear any version of white to a wedding. I ask how you found out because if she did not tell you then you may want to approach the situation differently as to not call out someone that told you.
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Champion October 2018
Kelly · on December 3, 2019 at 10:22 AM
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This isn’t a hill I would want to die on and I’d let it go. No one will think she’s the bride. And if people thinks she looks silly that’s on her not you. I never really pay attention to what people are wearing at a wedding.
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Lady · on December 3, 2019 at 10:47 AM
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It's a short beige dress - no one will mistake her for the bride. Be annoyed about it for a few days, but then get over it. It's not at all a big deal.

Also, super disagree with PP. Yes it's your wedding, but that doesn't mean you get to police what people are wearing.
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on December 3, 2019 at 11:57 AM
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I would let it go. While I agree that's disrespectful of FSIL to do. Let it be a poor reflection on her!
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Master November 2020
Kristen · on December 3, 2019 at 1:11 PM
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I can agree to maybe let it go but disagree with this statement to a degree. You cannot dictate what guests wear but I think people that walk down the aisle you can police a bit. She is part of the procession so I can see the issue. However, maybe it is not an issue to make so just let it go and I think others are right...does not take the spot light from you or make it look like you made a faux pas.
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Legend July 2019
MrsD · on December 3, 2019 at 3:09 PM
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Beige is usually completely different from white and off white so I wouldn't worry about it. She also isn't in the wedding even if she is walking with her niece, so she can pretty much wear whatever she wants as long as it isn't white. Have you seen the dress, does it really look bridal? A ton of bridesmaids and MOB/MOG dresses have sequins and lace. And I wouldn't think any short dress would look bridal?
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on December 3, 2019 at 5:49 PM
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Does she know what your dress looks like? There’s many shades of beige, just like there’s many shades of off white for wedding gowns. If you’re really concerned it’s going to clash/blend, I would say something to her ASAP. But if they’re clearly not the same color, I would probably let it be just to avoid the additional stress. I doubt anyone would think she’s the bride, and those that think she looks to bridal-y will think poorly of her, not you.
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Legend June 2019
Melle · on December 3, 2019 at 9:34 PM
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Ugh that's annoying. I'd be annoyed too. I think I'd say something only if your relationship is good. Like if you can be open and honest but if you've got a rocky relationship it does feel like it'd just add to it.
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