So confused how to feel....

You get one day. Not a week, not three weeks. She knows when your wedding date is. If you can't afford to take time off to attend her wedding, she should be understanding.

You know this person and your relationship better than we do. However, you are definitely free to decline her invitation if the timing doesn't work for you. And if her date means she now doesn't feel she can attend your wedding, I can see why you would be disappointed, but there's not really anything you can do but be sad and then move on with your planning.

I would be cool and happy about it. We can’t expect anyone to plan their wedding day base on other people. 3 weeks is okay to me, and honestly I would be glad to be on a wedding before mine, so I can see what I need to be aware of with my wedding. I think a friendship is more important, so I will honor and attend her wedding. With or without dh.

I also don't think it's a shot at you and your partner by having a date before yours. you do have to understand maybe they chose that date for reasons that best fit them like their schedules or significance of the date, etc. i don't think either that it would be appropriate to tell her that you don't like her date because it conflicts for you personally. if you can't go, you can't go. so be it. i wouldn't make any moves to tell her that her date isn't ok for you, ya know? cause even if you did it doesn't mean she can just move her date just because of the way you feel about it.

I understand where you’re coming from especially if you have to take time off to go to your wedding. I do not get many vacation days per year so it would be difficult for me to take time off for my wedding, honeymoon and her wedding all at the same time.
I do not think that she is doing it out of spite at all. This might be a day that means a lot to her or it might just be the only day available to her that works.
If you cannot make it because of vacation time she hopefully will be understanding of that.

Setting a date is a lot of work for a lot of people. You have to make sure it's the season you like, the month you like, your family is available, maybe its a special date, your venue has an opening...as long as its not the same day, I don't see a problem.

I understand where you’re coming from, she shouldve had the common sense to put some space between the two weddings. If you can’t take time off work, then don’t. It’s not worth getting in trouble, your wedding needs to take priority

Find a way to talk to her, that way you can clear the air on what she was actually thinking and not assume anything.


My sister got engaged right after me, and married before our wedding. That was really frustrating to me, but eventually I got over it now I’m the one with the postponed wedding LOL

I don't think the timing is an issue. If it doesn't interfere with a preplanned event for your wedding that she already agreed to come to, it really isn't a problem. If you asked her to be your MOH, I'm assuming you're pretty close, so not going to her wedding could be a decision you regret later on. Maybe re-evaluate when you get closer, but I won't think the timing is an issue.

She chose a date that worked for her and her fiancé. That could be because of the significance of the date, their schedules, venue availability etc. I don’t think it is meant to slight you or cause conflict. You’ll have your day on the date that worked for you and she will have hers. If you can’t attend her wedding because you can’t swing the time off I would just be honest about that.

Thank you ladies so much for your response! Everybody helped me calm down and I'm so happy that I get to go to all of you for this! Update: Everything is good and I should have nothing to worry about for right now!