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Smaller wedding

Madalena, on August 9, 2020 at 9:43 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 9
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Did anyone make cute to their guest list for a wedding this fall? We cut our 100 person guest list from our original date in April down to 50. I never told guests to save our postponed date, so I didn't feel we had to formally uninvite them. We plan to probably do a reception in the future with all our original guests. Most family members are very understanding but I have one step aunt I see once a year at best asking my mom a lot of questions and my mom feels awkward cause this family member is uninvited. Do I need to inform people they were uninvited even if they were never told a date in the first place? Should we send save the dates to the future celebration? What has anyone else done in this situation? I should mention, our 50 person guest list is only closest family and friends. We each have fairly large close families.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Kari, on August 10, 2020 at 12:53 PM
  • Niki
    Devoted August 2020
    Niki ·
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    I did the same thing. My wedding was postponed from May and my new date is in 2 weeks! A few weeks ago, we decided to move the wedding to a much smaller venue with only our wedding party & parents. We just sent out a little card saying “We’re still getting married but due to our concern for everyone’s health & safety, we’ve postponed the celebration for a year.” Everyone has been very understanding.
    I don’t know why your step aunt is asking so many questions. If you decide to send something out, make sure she gets one. Lol!
    Wishing you all the best!
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  • M
    Savvy 0000
    Madalena ·
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    Oh that's perfect! Did you design the cards yourself or did you find them somewhere?
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  • L
    Rockstar July 2022
    Lisa ·
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    If you never sent Save The Dates or invitations, and if you haven't promised invitations to anyone that you are uninviting, I don't think you need to send anything out to uninvite them to your small ceremony. If anyone asks about it, you can tell them at that time that you had to downsize due to COVID, and that you're planning to do a larger celebration later. You could also send out a marriage announcement after the wedding to anyone who you were originally planning to invite. Otherwise, you could always just send out Save The Dates or invitations for your larger reception once you have a date picked out!
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  • Niki
    Devoted August 2020
    Niki ·
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    We kinda designed them ourselves. We used a picture of us on the left side of the card and then put that we were still getting married & look forward to celebrating next year on the right.
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  • Niki
    Devoted August 2020
    Niki ·
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    This is what we did. (Sorry it’s crooked lol)

    Smaller wedding 1

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  • M
    Savvy 0000
    Madalena ·
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    Thanks! That's a great idea we will def do that too
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  • W
    Dedicated October 2020
    Waitingtomarry20 ·
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    We had to move our May date to October. We told guests in the beginning we would update once we got a hold on things. We wanted to let it play out before finalizing things. So far we are still in this. We had a handful of family members that kept asking despite us giving them the message. It made me so upset because they wanted to keep pushing for the wedding. So my husband and I finally told them we don’t know because we don’t know. Hello!🤷‍♀️
    And here we are still making changes: plan A to plan B to plan C etc. We are had to cut down from 35 guests to just us and our parents. I didn’t realize this wedding planning thing was going to an emotional roller coaster. We didn’t need the extra stress of explaining, inviting, and uninviting people.
    We are going forward with our October date and no plans to do anything next year. I don’t want to deal with the stress and plus we have plans to start a family. So we are going to send an announcement after we get married and call it day. Good luck!

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  • M
    Savvy 0000
    Madalena ·
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    I know exactly what you mean. I'm not 100% on the party next year. It sounds bad but I'm just over it all at this point. I wish we could do just parents and siblings but we have kind of nontraditional families and he doesn't have his parents and he has a lot of much older siblings so we couldn't agree on who stays and who goes lol.
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  • Kari
    VIP May 2020
    Kari ·
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    If you have already sent Save the Dates or Invitations for your original date, then you should notify anyone who was sent one of the change of plans. You don't have to tell them exact details of your new plan if they are not included in it, but at the very least you need to let them know that the original event is no longer happening. If you have an alternative planned, then it's the polite thing to mention it in a respectful way. For example: "Due to the pandemic and out of concern for the safety of all of our guests, we have canceled the wedding we had planned for X.X.XX. We still plan to marry in a smaller ceremony and hope we can celebrate our marriage with all of you in the future."

    Even if you didn't send them information about your postponed wedding, if they were included in the original event you should at least send them a follow up and "close the loop."

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