Small wedding/big family

If your budget isn't large enough then that's all that matters. People may be sad to not be there but maybe later down the line you could do a larger reception to invite more family. You can only do what you can afford

I think you need to have a sit down conversation with your fiancé and explain that from a financial stand point, you cannot afford to feed all those people.

Explain to your fiancé the financial situation. Mine didn't quite understand what was all needed for a wedding until I explained it to him.

I would set up a final budget, then start pricing out things. You'll need to serve people a meal, so that will probably limit who your fiance can invite anyway.

I'd keep things really small, parents, siblings, your children if you have any, grandparents, a few very best friends, and any significant others for these guests. While some people might be miffed and put out, keeping it this small will prevent lasting trouble in the end.

I would sit down with your FH and figure out your budget and then invite the number of people that your budget allows. I understand that your dream has been a small quaint wedding but you are marrying someone with a large family. I have 22 first cousins and I very much wanted to (and did) invite them all so I can see where your FH is coming from. I would never have considered not including them all BUT my budget allowed for it. At the end of the day, you have to do what you can afford - maybe you and your FH can figure out how to include them all by economizing in other areas or finding a less expensive venue/caterer?

Finances make all the difference in the end. These talks need to happen in order to be realistic. We would never be able to afford our wedding on our own, hell I am already freaking out about what it would potentially be costing us, minus the portion our parents will pay, just for the day of venue with all vendors. I cannot imagine your FH has 26 first cousins. I would narrow it down to who is closest within the family. You have quite some time til your wedding and already have a venue it seems, so the talk about your wishes, finances, and his wants need to be compromised on!

If you don't have the budget for a 200 person wedding then don't plan one. Your FH will need to come to reality and leave some people out unfortunately. I have a TON of cousins and only invited the ones that I am close to.

We had the same issue, both of us having big families. We decided to stop at first cousins and that’s it! We’re expecting about 75 people. The reality is, if you step back, this is just one day and you don’t want to go into debt just to please everyone; weddings are expensive enough as is. You can use that extra money for so many things like travel, a house down payment, or kids future college fund. Compromise with your SO and definitely don’t go by how many people the venue can hold. After we announced our engagement on social media my mom had cousins calling and I told her just tell them we’re having a small intimate wedding. They got the picture and wished us much luck. Go where your heart leads you ❤️

Thanks everyone!

I would definitely start planning a budget as soon as possible. I think your FH will be surprised at how expensive a wedding is and how quickly it adds up, I know I was We are doing a very small wedding with only immediate family and closest friends, and it is still going to be a lot more expensive than we were planning for. Good luck to you!

View Quoted Comment This. Show him the budget breakdown thus far so he can see how quickly everything is adding up already.

Anorher option is an even smaller private wedding (immediate family & grandparents only) and then a big reception later but either just cake & punch, or a brunch to keep if affordable but he can invite all his cousins. Happy medium! 😃

Maybe consider inviting in circles. I have around the same number of cousins, and that doesn't come close to including their spouses and children. At my grandfather's funeral last year there were 80+ people just from his kids and grandkids.

Since most of my family lives in MI or IL and we were the black sheep growing up in NC, for both my sister's wedding and my wedding we invited aunts, uncles, and cousins still living at home. It was a good compromise for everyone since people had to travel a fair amount of distance. My cousins understood, especially since many of them have young families and would have to travel to NC and spend money on a hotel.