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Callie
Beginner April 2022

Small wedding no family!

Callie, on November 22, 2019 at 12:21 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 12
Am i a horrible person for only wanting to invite friends. No family just our parents, the bridal party and our friends.


We have a huge family on both sides and it comes close to 218 total guests that we won’t even get to visit with properly and I’d rather have less people and more time to visit with everyone. So by eliminating family members we brought it down to at least a max of 80 people total with bridal party and guests. I’m just hoping our family will understand.
Or am I just being unreasonable? Help!

12 Comments

Latest activity by Alex, on November 25, 2019 at 11:41 AM
  • M
    Expert October 2021
    Megan ·
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    You're totally entitled to invite (and exclude) anyone you want. The best way to cut your budget down is by cutting your guest list. There's always a chance people will be upset, but if immediate family and friends is what you want for your wedding, that's totally fine.

    Also, an 80-person wedding actually is not considered small. It's pretty medium/averaged size. 218 would be large--I think it's smart to keep it to 80.

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  • Taylor
    VIP October 2020
    Taylor ·
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    I think that's totally fine. I completely understand wanting to invite your friends/the people that you see regularly over great aunt Shelia that you haven't seen since you were 8. You do you! lol

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  • Vannesa
    Expert October 2021
    Vannesa ·
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    Totally understandable. The guest list can get pretty hectic and keeping cost down would be hard.

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  • Callie
    Beginner April 2022
    Callie ·
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    Thanks everyone I’ve been getting some good feedback. Other than my parents everyone seems to understand the reasoning.
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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    You're not being unreasonable at all! It is both of your day and you both deserve to have who you want to be there there with you!

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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    Yeah, it's your wedding so I think you get to choose who gets to come and not.

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  • Cyndy
    Master May 2019
    Cyndy ·
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    It’s your wedding so you get to invite who you want. Some people might not be happy but they will get over it.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    You and your FI determine the general nature of your wedding first, before anyone else gets involved. Mostly family/ few family, large or small, formal or informal, religious or not, or to what degree you incorporate religion. Very short ceremony, very long one. Who you want in your bridal party. Once you have established the outer boundaries, and explained them to others, you can discuss the finer points. But these basics must be observed. If family wants your grandmother, or other particular person, talk about it. But it is not their position to decide, lots of family or very small number of family. And if you want about 80 including more friends than family, they cannot reasonably ask that you make it much bigger, or more family than friends. You make that major decision.
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  • Cher Horowitz
    Master December 2019
    Cher Horowitz ·
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    You aren't being a horrible person! I'm a firm believer that blood relation isn't the most important thing. Invite who you and your future spouse want to invite!

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  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    My family would be devastated if I did this. They are so excited for our wedding! Why don't you want family there? To me, family is WAYYYY more important than friends.

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  • Callie
    Beginner April 2022
    Callie ·
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    For us our family on Both sides are really big his reaches 50 and mine reaches 88 and that’s all immediate family. then you add in us the bridal party and their guests and we’ve reached 173 which we can’t really afford to pay for everyone in the end. So instead of trying to pick who can and can’t come from our families we decided it might be best to not invite them. If our families weren’t so close knit we could do with inviting a smaller amount of family we would it’s just to hard without hurting more people in the end. I do want them all there I just know that most of them would be hurt if so so got invite and they didn’t. I wish I could afford to have everyone come and invite them we just don’t have the budget to do so. So we are hoping that they will all understand and support us in the end. Plus our wedding falls on a Sunday during the school year so it’s going to be a hectic day for everyone involved and invited. I hope his helped.
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  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
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    My FH and I both have large families too (mine 85 and his 63). I couldn't do this to my family. I seriously would cut down friends to just my bridal party before I didn't invite my family. If that still wasn't enough, I would have my wedding at a state park and serve BBQ. I just couldn't imagine my day without my family.

    It is your wedding though. You have to do what is best for you and your FH. I am just saying this wouldn't fly in my family. There would be MAJOR backlash.

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