Small wedding- large "party" a week later?

That sounds like an awesome plan!!! I am planning a small wedding as well (only about 30 people) with a small reception right after! The planning is giving me anxiety as well and your family will understand and should support you on whatever you decide to do!!!

Why wouldn't you everyone on the same day? then you could just go on your honeymoon and not have to stress about it

if you do this, the only way to really do it politely is to have like, 10 guests at the ceremony and then your reception afterwards. Otherwise its really difficult to figure out why some people weren't invited to the ceremony itself.... know what I mean?

We are having a small ceremony and then a month later having a large reception. We chose to get married out of state. I didn't feel that I had to be stressed about having a large party the day of my wedding just because society days I do. I want to enjoy our day not spend it stressed. I have major anxiety too and I'm so happy we went this route.

If that's what works for you and FH, then i think it's totally reasonable. you have recognized limitations and want to work around them so that you can enjoy your wedding. that sounds totally reasonable to me.

if you keep it extremely small at the ceremony then it will be easier for people invited to just the reception to accept. be clear on the invites that it is a celebration of your marriage so they know not to expect a ceremony.

just think about whether or not you'll be totally stressed on your honeymoon worrying about the party when you get back! if not then go for it!

I think it's fine... although we are doing the same!

Because FH is from England (where I live now too) and I'm from Canada, we knew that either way one side would have to fly over and not be as represented. Since my family is bigger, we are having it in Canada but decided to do a small ceremony with just our close family, and then a party for everyone else in Canada and another dinner/party in the UK for his family and our friends here. That way it was all equal. That and we loved the idea of having a small wedding. We are having less than 20 people at the ceremony (including us, my sister's children and the officiant) but the party the next day will have about 100-120 (not sure about the UK dinner yet though).

If you have extreme social anxiety, I would strongly recommend getting some cognitive-behavioral therapy ASAP (I'm a psychologist and specialize in treating individuals with this difficulty). I would hate for you to have to feel so much anxiety/stress about a day that means so much to you. My FH's stepbrother's fiance (right?) seems to have similar concerns, and this is exactly what I have suggested to her. Good luck!

Don't lie to your guests and pretend to have a fake wedding at the reception. Call it a "celebration of your marriage" (because you are already married).

Don't have them the same day and only invite some people to the reception. It says "you are not good enough to see me at my ceremony but should bring a gift."

Basically follow proper etiquette and you'll be okay. Host guests properly and don't lie to them!