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Just Said Yes September 2017

Small wedding - etiquette for non-invited friends and family?

Ashley, on January 12, 2017 at 11:25 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 5
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My fiance and I are paying for our wedding entirely by ourselves, we're in our thirties, ready to start a family, and aren't interested in the cost or planning headaches of a traditional wedding. So we are considering having a small morning ceremony at a park followed by a private lunch at our favorite fancy restaurant for about 25 people (immediate family and a couple close friends), and then a casual open house that night for the wedding guests plus our local friends. However, we're not sure how to handle the 30-ish out-of-state aunts, uncles, cousins, and distant friends that we would not be inviting. These are people we rarely see or keep in touch with but that are still important to us and had us at their weddings. What's the appropriate way to handle this? Do we send a wedding announcement after? Do we invite them to our open house anyway even though they obviously wouldn't fly down here just to hang out with us for a few hours in our backyard? What would you do?

5 Comments

Latest activity by Alyssachu, on January 12, 2017 at 12:00 PM
  • Ebony502
    Super November 2015
    Ebony502 ·
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    I would just send wedding announcements. They may be offended if they are only invited to the open house.

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  • AMW
    Master September 2016
    AMW ·
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    If it's an open house that takes place a weeks/months later, then you can invite people whom you didn't invite to the wedding. If it's the same day or next it still counts as a reception and not a celebration--so I wouldn't invite them.

    Do you really even need to sound out wedding announcements at all? If they're close with your family they'll know, if they're not they wouldn't care anyway, right?

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  • K
    Beginner March 2017
    Kimberly ·
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    We are doing a very similar wedding, an evening cocktail & appetizers party only with limited guests, no kids, on a Friday night, from 7-10 pm. We sent the out of town guests an invitation so they felt included, but privately communicated to them that it is a very small wedding and not to feel bad in any way if they couldn't make it. Everyone has been very understanding.

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  • Celia Milton
    Celia Milton ·
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    Send an announcement and invite if you want, but it's really unnecessary. Your wedding sounds just lovely, and if it's TRULY small, like yours is? Everyone will understand.

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  • GymRat
    Master May 2017
    GymRat ·
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    Personally I wouldn't say or send anything. I'm with AMW - if you're not close with them, would they even care? They'll learn through everyone else.

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