Small Wedding - Big Shower??

Nope, it's not ok. The only people invited to pre-wedding events are those people invited to the wedding.

I wouldn't have a shower where the guests weren't invited to the wedding. Getting invited to the shower always signals that I will get a wedding invitation.

Nope. Only people invited to the wedding should be invited to the shower. If you invite others it comes off as very gift grabby.

Nope, it is often perceived as gift grabby.

I would only invite wedding guests. I would feel bad if someone invited me to a shower, where they expect a gift but then I can't attend the wedding.

It's very gift grabby and rude to invite people to an event where they shower you with gifts and then not invite them to your wedding.

No. It's rude - you're basically telling them they they're special enough to buy you a present but not special enough to invite to the wedding.

Thanks for confirming what I thought to be true! I agree with all the comments!!! THANKS!!

Another in the no column (and please, don't let your mother, aunt, FMIL, etc., try to talk you into believing that you shouldn't be denied a huge shower just because you can't afford to invite all your shower guests to your wedding. Just say no).

If you really want to invite all the cousins, think about a Thursday evening wedding. From what I've gathered on these forums, they are huge money savers.

I think it gives a way for all that want to celebrate you to participate.

Yep! Thursday weddings are the bomb! ;-)

No Adele - that's not how it works. Don't listen to Adele.

No @Adele, it gives the bride a chance to look like she's inviting you strictly for the gift. If a guest isn't invited to the wedding, they should not be invited to the shoewr.

If you want to celebrate with various family groups who are not invited to the wedding, invite them for a dinner with you and your new husband after you're married.

Nope. If they aren't invited to the wedding, then they aren't invited to the pre wedding activities.

No. Only wedding guests are invited to the shower unless it's a work shower or one thown by your church.

No Adele, just no.

"I'm sorry I can't afford to host you at me wedding but you should still be able to but me a present...."