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Savvy October 2021

Small wedding advice

on December 4, 2019 at 7:09 PM Posted in Planning 0 10
Hi guys.

My fiancé and I are getting married November 16, 2020. At first we were going to invite about 130 people or so and do the traditional wedding with a dj and also have a photo booth and fun stuff like that.
But my fiancé and I are not into dancing and we’re really low key people and we were thinking about it and we wanted to invite only the family we actually talk to and who know us as a couple. Which is about 60 guests. I mentioned to my mom (who is paying for the wedding) that we wanted a smaller wedding and didn’t really want dancing. Instead we’d like to have a ceremony and a nice dinner with everyone.
She is against that and says it will be boring and people come to weddings for the dancing and fun. And she thinks I’d regret not having an upbeat wedding.
So what are your guys thoughts about a wedding that is more of a nice dinner ?

10 Comments

Latest activity by Gwendolyn, on December 5, 2019 at 1:32 PM
  • M
    VIP January 2019
    Maggie ·
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    Your idea is great and will absolutely result in a nice wedding. Your plan is for a nice, celebratory dinner party with good food and conversation, which sounds lovely. Nothing boring about that.


    The sticky part is that your mom is paying for your wedding, so her opinion does carry some weight. You can try to convince her of the validity of your plan or you can choose to pay for your party yourself, which will give you the leeway to make all the decisions.

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  • Savvy October 2021
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    Thank you! I think it sounds nice too!! And I mean there would still be a first dance and father daughter dance and all of that. I just don’t want a typical dancing party! I don’t think we’d be able to afford it on our own, so I’ll just have to convince her it’s what we want.
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
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    I think it’s your day & it should reflect you and your spouse!
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  • Jocelyn
    Devoted December 2019
    Jocelyn ·
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    I am having a intimate wedding with about 50 guest with majority family and a few friends. In the beginning of the year we were planning to have a big wedding for end of 2020 with about 150 guest. From the moment I got engaged in December 2018 to maybe March 2019 I was fed up with how crazy my parents were driving me. They had offered to help pay a good portion but were stalling the planning process and I'm very organized and plan everything out well in advance. I talked it out with Fh and we decided we didn't want to wait till end of 2020 for a wedding and we wanted to get married this December 14! It was the best decision we could have ever made! I was not happy planning this huge wedding. We literally found the perfect venue within a week to host the ceremony plus reception with a food & drink package and put the deposit! Within another week I had a deposit for the cake,florist, violinist, and photographer! We told our family after Easter we moved the wedding up and got mixed emotions but everyone came around. We call it a intimate dinner wedding with formal attire. We still have a ceremony and only a three hour reception. There will be not dj, we just made a play list to play on the sound system In the reception room. We got a good deal for 3 hours of photos and a 3 hour videographer package. We will only be doing our first dance, cake cutting and the wedding shoe game. Now I wont say there wasn't any drama with guest list, dress code, plenty of opinions but we got through them! 10 more days till I say i do and I cant wait! I'm beyond happy we decided to do a little wedding a lot sooner than planned. Do what you guys feel is right, at the end of the day it is your wedding.(side note my parents did help with this smaller wedding and we paid a good portion as well)

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  • V
    Devoted August 2020
    Valerie ·
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    This is the problem when you let parents with differing opinions pay for your wedding. You get unwanted opinions that clash with yours and you start questioning what you should do because you start feeling guilty or bullied into one thing or another. If you want something that she doesn’t want to pay for then you should figure out a way to afford it. If your parents are paying then it would be pretty crappy not to respect their opinion because they are literally funding it for you.
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  • Jennifer
    Super March 2020
    Jennifer ·
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    This is what we are doing and my mom has the same concerns. Our guest list is at about 16 right now of people who have verbally confirmed. I have never heard someone complain about a small and intimate wedding. I have heard great things though. We hate dancing too and I can tell you that it will not be missed by us. We are having a guitarist and violinist play background music the entire night however. If people want to dance they can, but it won't be your traditional DJ music. I think providing a nice dinner for your guests is a great idea.
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  • A
    Super February 2020
    Andrea ·
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    I love dancing in weddings and seeing old friends and family cause I’m such a social butterfly. But I am not going to have a big wedding. I’m not going to regret it either because my one and only reason (and FH reason too) for having a small intimate wedding is to spend time with my family and FHs family whom we never have time to be with. If we have a huge wedding we would be trying to socialize with everyone else and not so much with our family.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    My favorite weddings as a guest were smaller weddings (40-50 guests), neither had dancing or a DJ. Everyone loved socializing, eating & drinking. Background music at the reception will help. A few good stations can help too—an appetizer table if you have cocktail hour, a pasta station with dinner or an omelette station for brunch, a fancy coffee bar with dessert or even a s’mores bar.



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  • Jennifer
    VIP August 2021
    Jennifer ·
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    I've never been to a wedding like that, but it sounds fun! Smiley smile

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  • Gwendolyn
    Devoted July 2021
    Gwendolyn ·
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    I'm doing this exact thing. My fiance doesn't like dancing in front of people and would be miserable. I also am not a fan of loud music when I'm trying to talk. You can still plan to set-up something fun like a photo booth area (or use Polaroid-style cameras). Maybe go form the angle that you want people to be able to relax and have conversations.

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