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Savina
Savvy September 2019

Small intimate wedding Vs. Eloping

Savina, on March 2, 2019 at 12:54 PM Posted in Planning 0 21
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Hi my fellow brides!
I am so stuck right now and need some help. My FH and I have canceled our big wedding that we had planned because it became overwhelming and the cost was insane. We weren’t comfortable dropping so much money on one day. So, now we are trying to decide between having a small wedding with about 50 people or eloping with just my parents and his parents. ( Yes, I know that is not truly eloping per the definition before some of you start getting on my case.) We have been going back and forth on this for weeks now. He wants to elope somewhere internationally like Venice or Greece but I’m leaning towards the small wedding in Savannah. I really would like to share this big day with my closest family and friends. He just wants it to be about us, but I feel like I will feel lonely not having my sister and my niece and nephews there. I don’t know what to do, any advice or insight would be greatly appreciated as we try to navigate through all this.

Thank you!
Bride losing her mind!

21 Comments

Latest activity by Alycia, on March 6, 2019 at 3:04 PM
  • Ashlee
    Dedicated November 2019
    Ashlee ·
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    This was my mind set before starting with all of the planning... my FH told me that you only get married once (hopefully 🤞🏼) and that I wouldn’t want to regret never having a special day for us two. So we decided on an intimate wedding and I couldn’t be happier with our decision...
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  • Savina
    Savvy September 2019
    Savina ·
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    How many people are you having? How are you keeping cost down? How did you get him on board cause he really wants to elope but I don’t.
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  • V
    Savvy April 2019
    Victoria ·
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    Can you compromise and just do immediate family? As in parents and siblings (and their SO/kids)? That’s what we are doing - just my parents, his parents, and my sister/her SO and his brother/his SO. So 8 guests total. We live in MN but are getting married in AZ. You can find some stunning places in the US for pretty little, especially state parks, etc. but I don’t know how willing your FH is to give up the international idea. Plus there are elopement packages you could get with vendors if you have 10 guests or less or 20 guests or less depending. Hope this helps. It’s a hard decision.
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  • Ashlee
    Dedicated November 2019
    Ashlee ·
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    We are having 50 people, mainly just family as we both have large ones. We are keeping cost down mainly by doing restaurant catering.... we are doing mission BBQ. Since we are having a rustic mountian theme it’s no big deal that it’s BBQ for me... we are also just asking a friend to dispense beverages that we have bought such as beers and wines and of course soft drinks, tea, and water.. so keeping our food and drink costs helped a lot. If it’s just family and really close friends coming, no one will mind that it’s not super formal and fancy... but that’s just me! As for the getting your hunny to agree, that’s just something that you might have to convince him with... mind was already on board with what I decided. Good luck hun 🙂
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  • Yasmine
    Dedicated November 2019
    Yasmine ·
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    If it means a lot to you to have your family there, I say do the small wedding here. Explain to him that you would feel like you had missed out by not having your sister, etc. He loves you and is becoming your husband, so he should definitely be able to understand that.
    My FH and I essentially had the same situation but are now planning a 65-guest wedding (close friends and immediate family), and dropped our budget by $10k in the process. He was down to elope, especially since his family has been difficult about it all to say the least. I thought about it and then explained to him that I was afraid I would regret not having my best friend, my brother, etc. and he said he didn’t want that so now we are having a small (as small as we could with a decent sized immediate family) intimate wedding.
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  • Ellie
    Devoted January 2020
    Ellie ·
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    I definitely understand the appeal of eloping. I'm starting to ponder myself if a smaller ceremony or elopement might be the way to go considering the drama I'm dealing with. With that being said, I think if your heart is truly set on having your close friends and family share the day with you, you should definitely go for the small ceremony. You don't want to look back on your big day and have regrets. Although if you've found the one I'm sure you'll still look back on things fondly overall! Another alternative is eloping and having a party afterwards as well. Either way go with what your heart tells you!

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  • Shannon
    Expert October 2017
    Shannon ·
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    I think you could compromise and just have immediate family. That way you aren't missing your sister on your big day. We had just 4 guests and then went to a restaurant for lunch and it was perfect.
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Why not wedding in Savannah, honeymoon in Venice or Greece? I can understand wanting your family & BFF there to celebrate with you! ❤️ Let your fiancé know how important that is. I’m sure he’ll understand.

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  • Susan
    Expert August 2019
    Susan ·
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    We went through the exact same thing and I think I changed my mind like 25 times!
    We ultimately decided on a small wedding (60 guests) or closest family and friends, with a really fun reception.

    It is both of our second wedding (my first was at the court house) but I wanted it to be perfect and exactly as I envisioned it. When I dreamed of my wedding it always included my friends and family and that’s what helped me make the decision.
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  • Nora
    Expert July 2019
    Nora ·
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    This. We were in same boat and FH said this to me. Doing 50 people as well and I am excited 😊 I found a place all-inclusive for about $7,000. Still a good chunk of money, to me, but it will be a great day to share with loved ones and our marriage. Try and find places that do ‘elopement’ packages as they limit to a small guest count but gives you the wedding experience, if you are wanting this route! Some have also done at a restaurant that has a spot to do a ceremony as well!
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  • Jodi
    Dedicated June 2019
    Jodi ·
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    We are only inviting family..under 40 people. So excited to have as stress free day as possible! 💖
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  • Savina
    Savvy September 2019
    Savina ·
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    I’m trying to do that but he is reluctant on it because a lot of his family lives in another country. So, he doesn’t care but he wants us to do something over there later on which I don’t think is fair if we elope because we get to celebrate with his family but not mine.
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  • Savina
    Savvy September 2019
    Savina ·
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    Thank you! I’m looking at a couple different options to figure this all out but he is not making this any easier lol 😂
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  • Keary
    Expert May 2019
    Keary ·
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    FH and I are eloping to Savannah! Quite a few of the historic inns offer elopement packages that can accommodate up to 15 guests. We're going just us - but it could be a good compromise for you!
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  • Jasmine
    Master August 2021
    Jasmine ·
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    You can definitely elope even with 20 guests if you wanted it to be smaller. It's not international but you can always check www.simplyeloped.com

    There's multiple options out there. My fiance and I are doing the same thing. At least attempting to. We're looking at about 30-40 people at the elopement price which is amazing. We're looking into Hawaii but since our guest list is a bit more than that, we're definitely going to have to cut some people about it because we want to do it on the beach!

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  • Savina
    Savvy September 2019
    Savina ·
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    I really gave it some thought but I always imagined having my family and friends. Of course I dreamed of a big wedding when I was a little girl but now I’m okay with a small wedding honestly. I’m trying to get him on board but I don’t want him to agree and later on tell me he regrets it. Everyone has been telling us to elope but I just know I won’t feel right without my tribe with me. I’m exploring that option of a small party after I’ll talk it over with him.
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  • Savina
    Savvy September 2019
    Savina ·
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    That is not a bad idea I like the thought of having amazing pictures taken in another beautiful country maybe I can take my dress and have a mini photo shoot there.
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  • Sierra
    Savvy July 2019
    Sierra ·
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    Why don’t you go to the courthouse, have a small party of your closet friends and family and take a honeymoon in venice or greece, it sounds like an awesome time!
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  • Pirate & 60s Bride
    Legend March 2017
    Pirate & 60s Bride ·
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    Yeeees! Do that.
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  • Renae
    Dedicated August 2019
    Renae ·
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    My FH and I had different ideas on this matter too. I wanted to elope but I understood that he wanted his family there. I would have felt guilty only having his, so I invited mine and our friends since they are my family. So ultimately we are having a "micro wedding" of 30 people in the Redwoods of CA. It is the closest I could get to eloping but still including the people that mean the world to us. We rented an air bnb that is allowing us to have the reception on their lawn. But you could just go to a restaurant and have dinner. Since they are our immediate family and best friends we can have it be as fancy or laid back as we want.

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