Small elopement

If that's the case .... you two should elope... Just you two. It can be your secret. You will have to decide on your anniversary date ha ha 1st or 2nd wedding.❤

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I just want to make sure it isn't childish... Everyone joked about how when I got married I was gonna be bridezilla, so with that in the back of my mind I have became obnoxiously passive *on accident) about the whole day to a point of no return

Are you saying you would “re-enact” the wedding at a later date after the elopement?

I am always put put off my the thought of double weddings or having a big reception after an elopement. If I’m not good enough to see you get married, I shouldn’t be good enough to expect gifts from. We’ve had people close to us have a reception after an elopement and it’s always a bummer for FI and I to know we weren’t “special enough” for the couple. If you’re going to elope, elope. Just my two cents.

I feel like I’m in a similar situation. I’ve always dreamt about the big wedding, but many factors keep me thinking “what if we just elope”

You have to step back and think about why you’re having a big wedding. Personally, I’ve thought about courthouse/eloping, but the big wedding is very important to me because I want my family that have raised me from birth (not just my immediate family) to be there to support me (and there at *least* 30 people on my mom’s side alone). Yes, it’s about us, but to me it’s also about the people that made us who we are and who we fell in love with. Also, from a purely selfish standpoint, my fiancé and I have been very open that we can go to the courthouse and get married there, but we want the PARTY

It might be out of line for me to say, but based on what you’ve posted it doesn’t seem like your bridal party supports you at all. I don’t know what’s going on behind the scenes, but I see why you would want to elope. Other people will tell you to just elope and it doesn’t matter what other people think (which is true!), but keep in mind that you’ve already started some sort of planning process and it may have some kind of effect on some relationships. However, I’m more than sure the people that really matter will understand whatever choice you make

my extra two cents in case you decide to keep the “big wedding”:

1. find a way to contact your FSIL directly; there’s no reason why you have to talk to her via FMIL

2. not sure what your FMIL is doing, but people have their own lives. If it’s important that she attend the wedding shower, then accommodate to her schedule.

2. Have an honest talk with your MOH. Best friend or not, the fact that she committed to planning your wedding shower then bailed is not okay. If she can’t handle an honest talk, idk if I’d personally want her as a MOH or a close friend

i wish you the best of luck!!

We are going to an adults-only resort to get married because my mom already booked a family vacation there for her retirement. We just invited a bunch more family and friends to attend. He has sons nearly 9 and 14 so we are doing a private legal ceremony in the states with just the 4 of us on a beautiful place in the city and I bought a simple satin dress for that occasion. Having a marriage cert in the states will be less problematic down the road and we found a way to include his sons. We are doing a family sand ceremony, going to lunch, and then a helicopter ride to make it fun for them. Limited people will know that we are already married before the big wedding in Jamaica. Win-win

View Quoted Comment I've heard of couple eloping before the wedding. Kind of common...they just keep it to themselves. Then have the wedding so no one feels left out.
It's totally your choice. But I wouldn't have anyone else involved...that is where people might not understand and get upset about losing money on the wedding, they weren't invited to witnesse etc...good luck!

Have you thought of just not having a bridal party, shower and all that fun stuff? Lots of people just forgo the bridal party. Less drama. Sorry that women can be so flakey! You are not alone

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I get this. My brother had a 'small wedding" and did not mention ONE word to us about it even though I talked to him on the phone a thousand times that day. I was devastated. Later I talked to his lovely wife which didn't want us there and let her know just how upset we were to be excluded for what seemed like no reason. She said they would have a reception in a few years and we would all be invited. I certainly felt like an after thought. I told her um noo, lol. But it took me some time to really process this. Sometimes people just cant afford to have the ceremony they want or something else that keeps them from inviting everyone and I have made my piece with it. I am sort of an all or nothing girl myself =). Just agreeing with you but hoping to have you see the other side a bit

View Quoted Comment I totally get that people would want to be private about it. I just think it’s selfish to want a small marriage ceremony and then a huge reception.

I think it could be nice as long as it is within your original budget. Another thing you could do is a pre-wedding sweetheart trip where you can still focus on just you two. Ultimately do what makes you happy. Weddings always bring out the stress in everyone. Id suggest trying to just let things go as far as family drama. Not in your control and they all need to just take a chill pill!

I feel you girl! I wanted to focus on just my FH on our wedding day. We decided to hike to one of our favorite spots with our parents only and have a ceremony. We get to leave right after our ceremony to celebrate with each other. I don't have any bridesmaid and he doesn't have groomsmen. And we are having our reception a month and a half later and will play the video from our videographer that will be there and a slideshow of the pictures and we will get to focus on our friends and family then.

My FH and I are eloping. We want the day to be about us with no chance for any type of drama or attitudes. After all it’s about our love for each other nothing more nothing less. We also talked about having a small reception after we return from our honeymoon to celebrate with family & friends but haven’t decided on that part yet. Do what’s best for you. You certainly don’t deserve to be stressing over this . It’s supposed to be a happy time for you!

View Quoted Comment I don't want to leave out close family, just maybe some of the extended ones that we kind of had to invite lol.. Even like a secret thing that me and him can enjoy so that way the day of doesn't seem like the day has to be absolutely perfect.. I was really looking forward to the wedding shower but really don't care about the bachelorette party so I'm planning it and another bridesmaid is helping host it.. I don't want anyone to feel like they aren't important but I'm also not trying to feel like we aren't important either