Small destination wedding or big local wedding?

I ended up with a larger local wedding and regret it. The wedding will be beautiful and I am grateful we even get to have one! However, we truly would have been happier with a small destination wedding, it just would have fit us better. Trust your gut (unlike me) and just pick the one you would enjoy more.

Oh my goodness, both options are beautiful! Honestly it's 100% up to what you and your husband think suits you best- would you prefer to celebrate with 150 friends, or just a few close ones? My husband and I chose to have a small guest list (40) and I don't regret it at all. Our close family and friends were there, and most importantly, I married the man of my dreams. Honestly, the day went by so fast and was so magical that even today it's kind of a blur who was there and who wasn't- fortunately my photographer was on point and got some fabulous shots!

If a intimate ceremony with a focus more on your family and friends in a unique destination appeals to you more, then you should totally go for it! If you really think you would miss seeing every one of your friends at your big day, and want more of a party-feel then a reunion, then a bigger wedding is probably more your style.

Best of luck!

I think it's totally up to you. But a DW to Paris sounds expensive for your guests! Depends on your close family/friends, and what you really want deep down. I could never imagine not having some people there because it wasn't financially possible for them, but I've also always wanted the big wedding. Good luck deciding!

.... But I like big booze parties....

Both sound amazing. I'm going small beach wedding. Everyone I've talked to from home who had big weddings wishes they would have done a small intimate DW. Your choice!

Do you know that a lot of your guests would go?

Paris is fairly expensive for most people. I don't know anyone I would be willing to spend 5k on to attend a wedding lol

Thank you ladies! I really appreciate your comments, they give me a more objective perspective. One of the things that is def holding me back is knowing it's such a big expense for our guests. That's why we are limiting the guest list to our closest family, some friends that live in France (I did my masters there) and a couple of other close friends who we think could afford it. We're even thinking about renting an airbnb for them or paying for part of their flights. The truth is that we've been going to some of our friends weddings in different parts of Mexico and have spent at least $2.5k (just flights, accommodation and meals) for the weekend since we live in a small town in AR and flights are crazy expensive from here. If we go with the DW option, our guest will have a year or more to save up and could consider taking a week long vacation if they want to. I know everyone's financial situation is different and sometimes I think we're being too selfish. On the other hand, I think this may be the only occasion we can be selfish lol

If I knew that there were going to be so many people RSVP no, I would have had mine on the beach!

I vote small destination wedding! That's what I'm doing. ALOT less stress.

I'd probably not go to a destination wedding anywhere because I don't have money to throw around on what is basically a vacation someone else chose. It's just too expensive, even though Paris sounds great. (And no, I'm not saving for a year to go to a wedding.....)

There are loads of other alternatives besides these two. Like a small wedding here.

@Lbee59 hate that RSVP thing! I hope at least they let you know they were not attending way before the wedding. And well, I guess you can always have a vow renewal in the beach

@Allee B that's great! Where are you having your DW?

Follow your gut. I wouldn't mind a destination wedding either but deep down the thought of having as many people make it to show their love and support is making spending a ton more money worth it.

We are planning a DW in Mexico for next year. It is all what you want to do. I realized one morning that I can spend $15000 for a few hour event or the same amount for an awesome vacation where we get married. One thing that made it easier for us to decide is that all of my family and friends would have to fly/travel to my wedding anyways. They all said they would rather travel to Mexico than to South Carolina. If you are paying for it do what makes you happy. Then you can always have a more relaxed reception locally when you get home.

We're only going to the beach in Florida so not as awesome as Paris, but I just thought I want this day to be about me! Are there some people who can't come? Sure... and I hate that but we are having a get together (more like catered cookout rather than "reception") when we get back to ensure we can celebrate with all. I think as long as you give a good notice to those who will no doubt want to be there you are okay. My friends/family are turning that into their normal vacation they take every year and not spending a penny more than what they would normally for vacation.

Do what you want especially if you both are paying 100% of it. If people cant save in 1 year than that's there problem not yours. Also, some family are quick to criticize but yet will not provide a monetary donation.

Follow your instincts.

Personally, I would prefer a larger wedding surrounded by all of the people we love to a small wedding in a strange location.

I don't think 35 people would come to Paris. But you know you're family better than I do. Seems to me if they can't help with the wedding financially they are also not going to Paris.

My personal opinion as a guest: I hate destination weddings. There are very, very few people I would travel to another country for their wedding. H and I have limited vacation time and, sorry, I'm not saving a year for a vacation to a place I may or may not want to go to. Paris is an expensive city. It also sounds like it'll be a long flight for most of your guests, so it will require taking significant time off work. Unless you were my sister, I'd probably pass.

But that's my personal opinion. You should probably run this idea by the people you'd like to invite and ask their absolutely honest opinions. Some people may not be comfortable telling you flat out "No, that's too expensive, I wouldn't go" so you may still be surprised if people turn you down after originally saying they'd love to go. But the only way to know if this would work is to ask your loved ones.

FWIW, I went with a large, boozy party and I don't regret a single second of it. It was the only time in my entire life that H and I would have all our loved ones in one place.

We decided to do a destination wedding in Mexico, actually. We tried booking a venue locally, but it's so expensive. We don't like attention, and all we want to do is have a good time without all of the formalities. We figured we would get a lot more for our money with a vacation, too. It would be a lot more memorable for us and our guests, too.