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Beginner September 2020

Small ceremony this year, vow renewal next year?

Stephanie, on July 9, 2020 at 11:35 PM Posted in Planning 0 10

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Our date is September 19th. We are meeting with the venue tomorrow and all decisions will hopefully be made then. We are able to have 150 people as of right now...but our guest list is 250. My fiancé and I were talking and we are feeling like if we can’t invite all 250 this year... then we should do a small 50 people ceremony this year and use our backup date in June to invite everyone to a vow renewal/marriage celebration.
Venue isn’t an issue and they’re being great and working with us!
My question is... for anyone else doing a similar thing... are you doing all of the wedding formalities for your vow renewal/marriage celebration next year? I was thinking it doesn’t make much sense to have the wedding party and bouquet toss and all of that “normal wedding stuff” next year if the actual wedding is this year and we still do those things at our small ceremony and reception with 50 people... any input or suggestions or ideas are welcome! I know it’s ultimately our decision but it just seems a little odd to do all of the wedding rituals if it’s not actually our wedding day.

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10 Comments

Latest activity by Mrs.a, on July 10, 2020 at 6:51 PM

Expert July 2022
Elmarose · on July 9, 2020 at 11:37 PM
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That's an amazing idea I feel that would work out great and use the backup venue for a vowel renewal celebration
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Master September 2020
Jessica · on July 10, 2020 at 12:16 AM
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Our back up plan is to essentially elope with just us and our kids and do a vow renewal and reception next year. I feel weird about having a WP and all the ritual stuff too if we’re already married, but I know our guests would expect it and I would still want my MOHs to be part of the celebration.
My aunt did a vow renewal on her tenth anniversary and did all the traditional stuff, so I think it’s just whatever you want.
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on July 10, 2020 at 7:06 AM
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We’re doing an even smaller elopement with just our parents and then a bigger (yet small) celebration next year. I figured we’d save the formalities until next year when there’s more people. But we don’t know what to do about vows and the ceremony. Do we say the same vows twice? Do we write different vows (now and then)? Do we not share our own vows now and save them for later?
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Beginner September 2020
Stephanie · on July 10, 2020 at 8:30 AM
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Those are things to think about also. So many questions and unknowns!
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on July 10, 2020 at 9:54 AM
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IDK, just making it up as we go along here 😂
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Savvy September 2020
Cristina · on July 10, 2020 at 10:15 AM
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We’re considering doing the same thing. We were supposed to get married in May, then postponed to September, but now looks like we have to postpone again. FH and I don’t want to wait to get married any longer so we’re thinking of having a small wedding ceremony this year with just immediate family (parents and siblings), and then the larger ceremony and reception will be next year. We’ll still plan to do a ceremony for the larger reception but still trying to figure out if it will be a vow renewal or just the same vows? Not sure...
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Super October 2021
Kevin · on July 10, 2020 at 12:20 PM
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We are doing none of them at this wedding to keep everything special next year and because we want all those experience with all the guests not just our 30 person list. We are doing the first dance, speeches, wedding dress wearing all next year for the big wedding. Our mini ceremony will just be our vows cake and martinellis.
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Expert August 2020
Angel · on July 10, 2020 at 1:47 PM
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We are saving all "wedding things" for the postponed celebration. We're still getting married on our original date, with just us, our officiant and a photographer. We don't want to invite anyone so that it doesn't take away from their experience at our "other" wedding. It's going to be super short & simple - we won't be saying our vows, I won't be wearing my dress, etc. It's nice to have a little intimate moment for us to celebrate together, and be able to postpone the celebration with everyone else once it's safe to do so. We've been together 8 years now, and don't want to wait any longer. Plus, we don't really know what anything's going to be like next year.
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Dedicated October 2021
Jessica · on July 10, 2020 at 6:29 PM
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We’re doing traditional vows for the minimony and writing our own vows for the bigger event!
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Master October 2021
Mrs.a · on July 10, 2020 at 6:51 PM
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That’s sort of what I was thinking too or vice versa!
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