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Just Said Yes May 2020

Small ceremony then large reception—tacky?

Charlotte, on August 27, 2019 at 11:38 PM Posted in Planning 0 16

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Hello! I wanted to gut check something with you guys. I’m doing a small ceremony abroad with only close friends and family (10 people total). Additionally my mother is throwing me a dinner party (engagement party) in her home town prior to the wedding and my MOL is throwing us a small reception in her home town (mainly her friends) in the months following the ceremony.

My question is: is it tacky or over-the-top to also throw a reception I’m our hometown when we get home from our small ceremony/honeymoon abroad? I’m wondering where the line is between tasteful and selfish/greedy of others’ time. The goal of the reception would be for me to celebrate with friends in our home town, and include them in the festivities. Feel free to be brutally honest.

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Latest activity by Ivy ORP, on August 28, 2019 at 10:14 AM

Legend June 2019
Melle · on August 27, 2019 at 11:39 PM
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I think that's fine. That's what my friends are doing, actually. They had a tiny tiny ceremony somewhere with just them and like three other people in attendance and then they decided to have a big celebration half a year after.
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Master May 2019
Cyndy · on August 27, 2019 at 11:41 PM
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I think that’s totally fine.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 28, 2019 at 12:55 AM
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Totally fine! We did a small DW (15 guests) then a local reception three months later for 50 guests—drinks, dinner, dancing. Most of the guest list was different for each event, with just a few friends and family we invited to both.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 28, 2019 at 12:58 AM
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Where are you having your destination wedding?
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Super February 2020
Jeanie · on August 28, 2019 at 1:36 AM
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An engagement party is just that, and has no bearing on whether or not you have a reception. If your MIL has a party with her people for you, that is also not a reception, but a party she is hosting. A lot of people have small destination weddings and then a reception at home some time afterwards. I would not think it to be weird or selfish to want to celebrate with your friends at home.
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VIP October 2020
Ingrid · on August 28, 2019 at 1:37 AM
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I don't think it's tacky at all, it's actually considerate to want to include them all in your happiness.
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Super September 2019
Kim · on August 28, 2019 at 5:23 AM
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I don't see anything wrong with this.
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Dedicated October 2021
Christina · on August 28, 2019 at 7:39 AM
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I think it’s perfectly fine! My friends even had a local wedding with a smaller maximum person count and had to cut some people from the ceremony but still invited them to the reception to celebrate! If the point is to celebrate with the people you love, they’ll understand that and probably appreciate that they still got to celebrate with you even if they couldn’t attend the ceremony!
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Super October 2019
Sara · on August 28, 2019 at 7:54 AM
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I think it's totally fine, and a nice way to celebrate with your friends. I think the other parties shouldn't have a bearing on a "reception" later, and no one should be offended by not attending the destination ceremony.
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Master February 2020
Amber · on August 28, 2019 at 8:06 AM
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I don't think it's tacky at all. I'm sure there are lots of people that would love to go since they won't be there for your ceremony. Or even if you didn't want to call it a "reception", you could just call it a party to celebrate your marriage!
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Just Said Yes May 2020
Charlotte · on August 28, 2019 at 8:23 AM
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Middle of nowhere Tuscany
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Just Said Yes May 2020
Charlotte · on August 28, 2019 at 8:33 AM
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Thank you all so much! Very helpful. Looks like I have a party to plan!
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Devoted November 2019
Kate · on August 28, 2019 at 9:02 AM
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I don't think it's tacky! I had a friend who had a very small wedding (due to religious restrictions) and hosted a local reception/party about 6 months later at a family friend's house. It was much more low-key than a typical reception. She actually wore her wedding dress again for the local reception, which was a cool touch.
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Legend March 2017
Pirate & 60s Bride · on August 28, 2019 at 9:09 AM
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How romantic! Never been to Tuscany but pics look amazing. What an epic destination. 🇮🇹 💕
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Master December 2019
Cher Horowitz · on August 28, 2019 at 9:44 AM
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I agree with PPs. I see nothing tacky or wrong with your reception plan! Enjoy Tuscany!
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VIP October 2019
Ivy ORP · on August 28, 2019 at 10:14 AM
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My sister did this and we are essentially doing the same as well. My sister went to Jamaica to get married and had a reception with a small ceremony in our home state when they returned. We are eloping with just our sons and will have a handfasting ceremony with reception for our friends and family. The people in your life will most likely enjoy the chance to celebrate your marriage with you. The engagement parties are different and should not take away from the reception you want with the people close to you.
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Small ceremony then large reception—tacky?

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