Small Ceremony - Grown “kids”

Since there will be no guests, it's not a big "production" so you don't need to assign roles just for appearances' sake. Given their ages, I would ask each one if they want to stand at the altar or sit in the audience, and go from there. If they want to stand with you, they could be maid of honor/best man, a daughter could carry your dress train, they can do a reading during the ceremony, and someone could even toss flowers (that role isn't just for little girls anymore -- anyone can do it!) If they just want to sit and watch, that's OK too and you'll only need one row of chairs.

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Standing, sitting or reading would be fine the others listed would not work. No train to carry, flower petals not allowed. Wondering if someone had an idea I hadn’t thought of.

Given that they’re the only guests, I kind of feel like forcing “roles” that don’t occur naturally is pointless? It’s not like they’re small children who need to be reassured of their place in your lives.

Being a guest is always a huge honor in itself. Doubly so since your children are the only guests in attendance. Roles are never required and I would skip them in this case. Enjoy each other’s company without other responsibilities.

Have them be in the wedding party or can any be the Honor or Best Man?

View Quoted Comment Thank you. Definitely won’t force anything.

View Quoted Comment Thank you so much

So a quick follow up…we have asked 3 of the five what they wanted to do/if they wanted to stand up with us…and he plans to ask the other two soon. My two said whatever I wanted them to do. His oldest said yeah that’s be cool. Then after showing wedding theme (casual, beachy) and sharing color scheme his oldest insists on pants not shorts and tried to change the colors of the wedding. First to some awedul green, the. More formal, and then a dark/faded blue. When I pushed back, he decided “he doesn’t look good in “that color blue” (carribean blue) so he’ll wear a white shirt (so he forces the other two into white rather than blue and pants rather than shorts) just to be difficult (he and his brother have a tan complexion and looks great in blue where as my son will be “washed out” in white since he’s fair and blonde like me). This one always has to be difficult…and isn’t even paying for any of it!