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Savvy November 2023

Small bridal party

Leslie, on April 19, 2022 at 10:37 AM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 3

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After going back and forth a bit on the bridal party FH and I decided it’ll just be us and his two kids, daughter as my MOH and son as his BM. He has two sisters and 5 nieces/nephews we had considered including in the bridal party but we don’t want to put that financial burden, time commitment and stress on those families. Plus it takes the stress off us of figuring out attire, florals, hair/makeup, etc. Everyone will still be invited to the wedding but now they can wear what they want and be involved as much or little as they want. We hadn’t asked anyone yet to be in the wedding so there shouldn’t be any hurt feelings? Just wanted to get people’s thoughts on whether that’s being rude? Ways to include them without having them in the party?

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Latest activity by Michelle, on April 26, 2022 at 10:20 PM

Super March 2022
JA · on April 19, 2022 at 10:52 AM
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No one should be hurt by not being in the wedding, especially if you say you are just including the 2 children. As far as including them, you could ask them to wear the colours of the wedding party. So if MOH is in purple, the BM and the other VIPs could wear purple ties/pocket squares/etc, and the girls could wear any purple dress they want. You could also still take photos with all of them to look like a wedding party if you wanted. On your website under "wedding party" you could say something like "Other Honoured Guests" and list them
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Savvy November 2023
Leslie · on April 19, 2022 at 10:54 AM
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Love the website idea! Thanks for the help!
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Champion December 2022
Michelle · on April 26, 2022 at 10:20 PM
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From everything I have read and heard from others who have been bridesmaids, including personal experience, people actually will not be upset if you don’t ask them to be a bridesmaid or groomsman and they actually prefer being a guest with no responsibility beyond supporting the couple and having fun. Being a guest is a huge honor that many completely discount because it’s not what the wedding industry promotes as acceptable or polite. There is nothing rude or offensive about having no wedding party. Not everyone can afford or wants the financial and emotional stress that is common with being involved in a bridal party. Do what works for you. Make sure you have someone chosen to sign legal paperwork as witnesses which can be anyone 18+.

That said, I would not personally list select guests as “honored” unless you plan to choose them for a specific role. It conveys an unspoken message that someone else isn’t as special, even if that isn’t your intention and it can confuse your guests who read it.
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