K
Beginner June 2021

Skipping the First Dance?

Katy, on February 29, 2020 at 10:30 AM Posted in Wedding Reception 0 21
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I am a dance instructor, extrovert, and lover of being the center of attention. My fiance is absolutely the farthest thing from any of that. While I would love to have a dance with him at our wedding, I also want to respect his personality and am toying with the idea of skipping a first dance. Has anyone been to a wedding where there wasn't a first dance? Was it weird?


Thanks!

21 Comments

Latest activity by Casey, on March 2, 2020 at 6:33 PM
  • B. Yvette
    Dedicated March 2020
    B. Yvette ·
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    I have been to a few with no first dance. I would be fine without one and I think my beloved would too. We’ve both been married before so want to keep things simple. Destination beach wedding on March 28, with small reception of 10 close friends and family attending dinner afterwards. Reception at our city in April with ‘everybody’ !! Nice playlist going during dinner, no DJ. Maybe one dance but we will see. No bouquet or garter madness, with a quiet cake cutting.

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  • K
    Beginner June 2021
    Katy ·
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    That sounds absolutely lovely! Thank you for your insight and have a blast on your day!
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  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
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    I toyed with the idea of doing our first dance alone. If people aren't in the reception areas immediately after the ceremony you could do it there, or in the ceremony area after it's cleared out?
    For example our venue has an old Victorian house for getting ready and no one else is allowed in (except those getting ready with you obviously) and we go there to sign papers after the ceremony and I thought we might dance then together, alone, maybe with the photographer peeking in.
    He surprised me by saying he wanted to dance in front of everyone 🥰 but maybe this is a good alternative for you?
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  • B. Yvette
    Dedicated March 2020
    B. Yvette ·
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    Thanks so much! To you two as well!!

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  • B. Yvette
    Dedicated March 2020
    B. Yvette ·
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    I adore this idea of a beautiful private dance!!!!

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  • K
    Beginner June 2021
    Katy ·
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    Never thought of that! It sounds lovely! Great idea! Thanks!!
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    I’ve been to weddings with no first dances or any dances at all. Would he consider doing one that’s super short?
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  • K
    Beginner June 2021
    Katy ·
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    Probably. I just know he's super uncomfortable work having eyes on him and was trying to figure out a different route. A shorter one is a good idea!
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  • Chrysta
    Master November 2022
    Chrysta ·
    • Flag
    I have been to a few weddings with no first dance. To be honest, I really didn’t even notice. If you are having dancing for your guests at your reception, you could just have your “first dance” be the first song you dance to together with your guests. You could also have the DJ request all couples join you on the dance floor for your first dance. Then your FH won’t feel as though all eyes are on him
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  • K
    Beginner June 2021
    Katy ·
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    Another great idea. Thanks so much for your input!
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  • Samantha
    VIP October 2020
    Samantha ·
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    I love the idea of a private first dance! But if you’re not into that idea, I don’t think it’s necessary at all.
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  • Melle
    Legend June 2019
    Melle ·
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    This is gonna sound so cliche but honestly it’s gonna feel like there’s literally just you two during the first dance. That’s how I felt- as if it was just us in that room
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner June 2021
    Katy ·
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    Ooo that sounds so special!
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  • plangalCG
    VIP May 2018
    plangalCG ·
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    We weren’t going to do one (ours was a small wedding with 30 guests) but we did. We basically had our musician introduce us which turned into our dance. And half of the people were not even paying attention. They were eating and drinking. And we had a lot of fun. Another idea is to just have your first dance be the lead in to everyone dancing. So you would dance a minute or two and the DJ could say that you invite other couples to join you. But if you decide not to, it won’t be weird.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
    • Flag
    Never been to one without a dance! I feel like there’d always be a regret if you didn’t do it tbh.
    • Reply
  • K
    Beginner June 2021
    Katy ·
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    Thanks for your input! We aren't doing a lot of the normal stuff anyway, but I was wondering if this one piece might be something I miss later.
    • Reply
  • Ally
    Dedicated June 2021
    Ally ·
    • Flag
    I’ve thought about skipping this too. Neither my FH or I like being the center of attention and both of us really don’t enjoy dancing. I want to do it because I feel like I’ll regret not having that moment with him, but I don’t want to make either of us uncomfortable. We’ve talked about doing dance classes or even teaching ourselves from YouTube so we feel a little more comfortable doing it. If your fiancé is really uncomfortable with it, I would say skip it! As a guest, I don’t think it would be weird if you didn’t do a first dance.
    • Reply
  • Emily
    Super August 2020
    Emily ·
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    I mean if you are like nah it’s not a big deal to me either I wouldn’t do it. But since it sounds like you are hesitating to cut it id probably keep it! I just went through this same thing with deciding on real or faux flowers. Bought faux ones, stressed over if it was the right decision for three weeks then decided if I’m already having regrets I clearly want the real ones and I’ll regret it later if I don’t go that route! Luckily I’m able to sell the faux ones.
    • Reply
  • A
    Super August 2020
    Alex ·
    • Flag

    One of my friends had the song cut down to like 1 minute, so they could have a first dance, but not feel like everyone is staring at them forever.

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  • C
    Super December 2021
    Casey ·
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    You're very welcome! Hopefully you guys pick something and are both happy 😊💖
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