Skip the Ceremony?

I’m in a similar scenario! What we’ve chosen to do is to have a friend who knows we’re already married “marry” us at the reception venue (a quick 5 minute ceremony) and then focus on the reception. That way, no feelings get hurt.

The ceremony is a fraction of the cost of the reception so you won’t be saving any real money. If you have a lot of out of town guests, you may get a high decline rate if they’re only invited to a reception. Personally, I would not fly for a reception only.


Perhaps reconsider, or be ok with a very small reception? But then if you have a small invite list why not have the ceremony and reception together?

That's very common so really in the invitation you should state that you guys already tied the knot but that you are having a large reception party for the guest. Go to Pinterest and Etsy and you can actually see invitations with that wording. Also what a friend of mine did is she and her husband got married at the University where they first met but then she had a party in her new state that she lives in because she had family from Colombia and friends that she made here attending and before the reception started she wore her wedding dress and did a little small ceremony in front of everybody just have to kind of unofficial.

Sure, it could be pulled off, but it’s not going to save you much money. Our ceremony was maybe 5% of our budget. You’re also correct that many people may not travel for a reception for a marriage that was hidden from them for over a year.

My cousin eloped with her hubby in Vegas, then had a local reception. They played the wedding video so everyone got to feel like we were there. The reception was 6 months or so after the wedding. It was back in 2003ish, so that’s been a thing for awhile.

I went to a wedding where it was only a reception because they eloped in a private ceremony earlier in the year. It's fine.

Since you're already married, I'd just make that clear and invite all your guests to a celebration of your marriage. With that invite, I would not expect a ceremony and would be happy to celebrate with you. I am never a fan of trying to keep a prior wedding ceremony "secret," that's deceitful, and just opens the door to drama and hurt feelings. Especially if there are people who already know, it's not a secret, so the very thin line between "who knows and who doesn't" is going to be hard to manage and will potentially become an issue. (And, with the reception being a DW for a lot of the guests, I do think that might impact your acceptance rate, but I do NOT think that should be a reason to try and keep the fact that you are already married a secret. If I found out after the fact that you lied about it with the goal of trying to get more people to spend the time and money to attend, I'd be extra irritated with you and probably would not trust you in the future. Firm believer honesty is almost always the best policy -- just own your choices and most people will be very accepting.)

I’m eloping and then having a reception/anniversary party. I’m going to present it as such and I believe the people who matter and care will still come even if it’s not the official wedding. If people don’t want to come it’s their loss moreso than mine. So I think you’ll be fine if you’re honest.

Congratulations on your elopement!

I would not attend a reception for an elopement that happened several months ago and 1. there was no announcement made and 2. so far away. To me, it seems like such a waste of money when the reception is the most expensive part of a wedding. I would also question why now...sounds like a reason to have an expensive party to me, not a wedding celebration.

Personally, I would send out elopement announcements and call it a day and save a lot of money.

I agree with pp especially if you left out people who may have felt they were close enough to know you eloped. Ceremonies aren’t expensive usually whereas receptions are food and beverage, linens, floral chairs the list goes on and on. If you are worried about hurt feelings send out an announcement of your elopement you can also do a 1 year vow renewal which could be treated as a ceremony.

Thank you ladies for the input! I appreciate the various perspectives! I really like the idea of having a small “ceremony” type moment before the reception party begins. I would say theres only two individuals who we need to inform personally but neither will take a strong offensive. And im sure our loved ones will understand our reasoning for eloping and not making a big announcement. I think we will send the elopement announcement with the invite.
Thank you all again so much.

I would definitely attend a reception for a close family member or friend who had eloped, but I would not expect/want to sit through a "ceremony" if I knew they were already married.

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I agree. Nothing good ever comes from not being upfront with people. Save yourselves a lof of money and send out "Hey we eloped!" announcements.

I'm currently married. This happened to us. We're I and my husband did an eloped and had a small cermony. Now almost 5 years later were renewing our vows and inviting majority of everyone. I would suggest to do the cermony.