James

Skip Sister's wedding

James, on February 15, 2021 at 7:53 PM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 41
Saved
Reply
I am a 28 year old male, and have never ever talked to a woman, My younger sister is getting married in July 21 at which I will be a groomsman, however I am seriously considering skipping the wedding if I do not have a +1


Covid has not helped my cause in trying to meet women to possibly be my plus 1.
I was admitted to the hospital psych ward the day after my sister got engaged. I am just not sure how I would react being at the wedding and reception, I think it would just be easier if I removed myself from the whole thing. I haven't told my parents that I'm considering skipping, and I'm prepared for the backlash if it comes to me skipping the wedding

41 Comments

Latest activity by Samantha, on February 20, 2021 at 3:00 PM
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Rockstar July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
    • Flag
    I think that you should continue with your therapy to help you push through whatever is making it difficult for you to maintain or initiate romantic relationships. If your parents are aware of your stay at the hospital I’m sure they will prefer to have their son feel comfortable in his surroundings than push you to do something you’re not ready for.
    • Reply
  • James
    James ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I'm not sure if I could break the news to them that I want to skip the wedding and reception
    I might just go to the wedding and skip the reception
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    That may cause a disruption at the reception, though - your parents will be worried, your sister as well.


    For the plus one - what about a friend? Someone you can relax with? Plus ones don’t have to be dates.
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    I mean, just disappearing will worry everyone and the focus will be on you and not the wedding. Give them notice and let them know you will not be there.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag

    The wedding is both ceremony and reception, not just one. A plus 1 is not a reason to skip. Many couples do not want strangers in attendance and maybe she feels you will know other family in attendance and be able to enjoy yourself with them. Talk to your sister directly about your hesitation, not your parents.

    • Reply
  • James
    James ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Someone on FB said they would escort me but she is completely not what I want in a plus 1
    I don't know how to break the news to them about skipping the wedding
    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Dedicated May 2018
    Samantha ·
    • Flag

    Can you talk through your feelings to a therapist or other kind of professional? Maybe if you decide not to attend, they can help you explain the situation to your parents.

    I would also like to point out that my brother was your age when I got married and he did not bring a +1 to my wedding - in my family, this is normal. If you happen to be single at the time of a wedding, you're not expected to bring someone just because. However, I understand that the same situation can hold a very different weight for different people. I hope you're able to talk this through in therapy and decide what is best for you.

    • Reply
  • James
    James ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    No I know almost no one on the groom's side and her side (friends) I never really met
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    There’s one of two ways you could handle this issue. You can either A. face the root cause of your fears about showing up without a plus one, or B. Hire an escort.
    There are plenty of sites where you can hire escorts. Just make sure you pick a classy escort and not some hotmess fluzey. You can also hire an actor or actress from gigsalad.com. They can play your plus one.
    I know it’s a challenge to meet women during this time and especially being a young male in society, you have an immense amount of challenge that you have to try to navigate through.It will get better though. Work on self improvement and don’t be upset about your sister being engaged, try to be happy for her. Happiness will come back to you tenfold.What state do you live in?
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    Is there anyone you know? Parents? Aunts and uncles? Cousins? That seems like a strange mix. Why are you standing on the groom's side if you don't know him?

    • Reply
  • James
    James ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Oh NO! I'm not paying for a +1
    • Reply
  • James
    James ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I am currently talking to my therapist about It

    • Reply
  • James
    James ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I know him it's just I don't know his family that well!

    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    And think about it, if you end up hiring a plus one off of an escort site or a GigSalad.com, Who knows, it may turn out great and She may turn into your actual plus one for next time. But whatever you do don’t miss your sisters wedding. If she wants you to be a groomsman, that means she cares a lot about you and wants you to be a part of her big day. She wouldn’t ask you to be a part of her big day if she didn’t truly love you. I bet she’s worried about if you’re going to bring a plus one or not too.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    So would you pay for them if they were your actual date? Or would you just not pay for them if it was an escort? Either way you’re going to have to pay for the girl if you want to work on your charm skills.
    • Reply
  • Michelle
    Rockstar October 2022
    Michelle ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment

    That's actually common for most bridesmaids and groomsmen

    • Reply
  • Samantha
    Rockstar October 2022
    Samantha ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I know that there are a lot of issues here that need to be worked out, so I am going to address the one - if you disappear after the ceremony, the focus will be on finding you. Because your family will be concerned about your mental health, they will be afraid for your wellbeing. I am sure you don’t want your sister’s wedding day to be about managing a a crisis brought on by you taking off. If you present it to your parents that way - that attending the ceremony but not the reception is your plan to manage your mental health, they will understand.
    I know that it is daunting to talk to your parents about this. But they would much prefer to hear in advance that you are skipping the reception, rather than be afraid for you during.
    • Reply
  • James
    James ·
    • Flag
    No paying for a +1 PERIOD!


    • Reply
  • Rebelle Fleur
    Rockstar July 2021
    Rebelle Fleur ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    I would talk to your sister first and let her know how you feel about attending and the reasons why you don’t want to. Then maybe you can both talk to your parents about it together.
    • Reply
  • Dj Tanner
    June 2021
    Dj Tanner ·
    • Flag
    View Quoted Comment
    Lol, so if you met a girl at a coffee shop and you wanted to ask her and invite her, if it wasnt an open bar, you wouldn’t buy her a drink?
    • Reply

You voted for . Add a comment 👇

×

Related articles

WeddingWire celebrates love ...and so does everyone on our site! Learn more

Groups

WeddingWire article topics