Sit Down vs. Buffet vs. Family Style

AK, you wrote, "I am having a buffet (taco bar!), but it fits with the formality of my mountain wedding. It might be strange to have a buffet at a black tie wedding, but otherwise-not tacky."

Relax, AK, you're not having a black tie wedding -- by no stretch of the imagination. Dinner is a buffet taco bar? Nope, not black tie. In fact, that's a budget approach to a wedding dinner, and black tie, when it's genuine, ignores budgetary constraints because there are none. You don't get to arbitrarily label your wedding as something you wish it was. From the little bit of info you've given, I can say, with certainty, that you aren't hosting anything near a black tie wedding. That only matters because guests reading "black tie" on your black ink engraved white/ivory invitations, will believe that they have to attend your wedding wearing rental tuxes or gowns, and when the truth confronts them -- that they have get on line, table by table, and make tacos -- they'll think the whole black tie thing was ridiculous. I seriously hope you haven't added "Black Tie" to the verbiage on your wedding invitations. If you have, you've done a bait and switch. To begin with, buffets -- no matter how exquisite -- are not the elements of a black tie affair. It doesn't matter how good the buffet is; if you're having a buffet, it is not a black tie affair -- so, let your guests wear what they want. Black tie weddings are always plated, and they begin after a certain time of the day. They include valet parking, coat check, white gloved service, table side ordering of prime beef, boneless chicken, and seafood options, extravagant centerpieces, two live bands, and top shelf open bar -- all night. Tacos? No...never. Beyond the lack of table side service, you need a sommelier and a whole lot more to fall into the black tie wedding category.

Jodi, I have no idea how cards with animals and songs that mention those animals will quell the long line issues at buffet weddings. Perhaps it mixes it up a bit, but some tables will still be last. There's no way to avoid that with a buffet wedding.

OMG..."Food will be $2 to $6 a head"? This is a wedding? What are you serving as a meal? I can't get a $2.00 meal at our local, Tuesday afternoon cafe.

Our venue had the option for either one at the same price. We chose buffet because our guests have the ability to try each entree and have plenty of food. Whereas plated they only get one and no option for seconds

ETA: accidentally sent too soon. Words.

We did a buffet like every other wedding I have been to. I have never seen family style and the few times I went to a plated event I hated it. Our venue did have the line going down both sides of the table which they had set up in the dance area for food. They then removed it after dinner so the dancing could begin.

I've only gone to 3 weddings, with a buffet, out of about 30, and none of them had a large variety, or amounts of food available. Servers spooned out portions. 2nds were only available with what was left and who got there first; at one wedding, all I could have gotten was the vegetable (squash). At all 3 there were the options of two meats, 1 starch, 1 vegetable, roll and salad. Later there was a slice of cake.

We live in the northeast U.S. Almost every wedding in my social circle offers large amounts of food. There may be more food offered during the cocktail hour (stationary buffet, passed hors d'., stations), then entire weddings I've attended, in another region. We offered the choice of a vegetarian entrée and two different duet entrees. That was after soup and salad were served, and before the dessert trio. The venue also offered a pastry table, where our cake was served.

Our venue assigned teams of two servers, to two tables, and the service was phenomenal. It seemed like everyone (200 plus guests) was served simultaneously. I think it was called French service? Soup was ladled out/garnish put on tableside; salads came out on cold carts and garnish and dressing was put on at the tableside, etc.

AK, buffet and black tie do not go together at all.

OP, buffet is fine and is not considered rude or against etiquette.

Thanks again all... FH and I don't want to feel black tie, or overly formal, but our venue is a bit upscale so we're going to steer away from buffet, but we're going to go for family style with the option to go plated if our finances change. I really appreciate everyone's input!

Huh? I feel like AK was saying her wedding was informal hence the taco bar fits and just making a general observation that black tie weddings would not typically have a buffet - not saying hers was black tie. Or did I misinterpret?

Regardless, buffets are not tacky. Go for it!