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Just Said Yes September 2021

Sisters&bridesmaids??

Mary, on May 4, 2020 at 11:26 AM Posted in Family and Relationships 0 9
Hey y’all so I’ve been SO stuck on this and I just need some help. Between my fiancé and I there are 3 sisters. 2 are mine and one is his.


Early on we decided to have 5 bridesmaids and 5 groomsmen. But he didn’t find it fair to make me have all 3 sisters as bridesmaids and have to choose between 2 friends when my relationships are MUCH closer with my friends than they are my sisters so we wanted to keep our bridesmaids and groomsmen to friends only since we felt like this was more important to our relationship.
We also decided that we wanted to do a combined bachelor/bachelorette party at a music festival with friends only for various different reasons and didn’t want to make the sisters feel left out by not inviting them if they were apart of the bridal party.
I realized early on that we could not just leave our sisters out because they ARE family and deserve to be honored in this way. So I came up with the idea to have them as “sisters of honor” and basically have all the same duty’s as bridesmaids and be involved in all the pictures, walk down the isle solo after the parents but before the bridesmaids and groomsmen, however instead of standing at the alter they would sit with the families.
At first I thought this was a perfect solution to my problem but the more and more it weighs on me the more guilty I feel. Should I include my sisters as bridesmaids and just have uneven sides? (8 and 5). Ive already told my bridesmaids they’re going to be bridesmaids but am still trying to figure out the right thing to do for my sisters. I want them to feel included and like they are special to me I just don’t know how to include everyone and not hurt my sisters (especially blood related ones) while doing so.
My fiancé is letting me decide what to do because he believes it should be my choice. I was pretty set on the whole sisters of honor thing but I can’t help but feel like maybe I’m not honoring them enough.. or like they’ll feel left out as my middle sister told me she always thought she would be a bridesmaid.
I also toyed with the idea to have uneven sides (6 and 5) and have the sister I’m closest with (the middle one) as a bridesmaid and the other 2 to help me run the books at the front of the ceremony... I just don’t know what’s right.. please help.

9 Comments

Latest activity by Audrey, on May 4, 2020 at 9:50 PM
  • Mrs. S
    Super November 2019
    Mrs. S ·
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    Do uneven sides and/or have his sister as a groomswoman
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  • Gen
    Champion June 2019
    Gen ·
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    I would make your sisters your bridesmaids and make his sister a groomswoman. And the sides will be off by 1 but who cares
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  • Hanna
    VIP June 2019
    Hanna ·
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    If it were me, I would make the sisters bridesmaids and have uneven sides. Relationships are much more important than aesthetically pleasing photos. It's no big deal to have 8 on one side and 5 on the other. It will look stranger if your sisters are not bridesmaids!

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  • Caytlyn
    Legend November 2019
    Caytlyn ·
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    You should have the people that you’re closest to in your wedding party, no matter who they share DNA with. If you’re close with all of your sisters, great. Include them and have uneven sides. If you’re not close with your FSIL, she doesn’t have to stand on your side. If your FH wants her in the wedding, she can stand next to him. I definitely would avoid the “sisters of honor” thing. You’re either in the wedding party or you’re not. That just sounds like a cop out.
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  • Cristy
    Master May 2021
    Cristy ·
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    I agree with Caytlyn. Your bridal party should be your nearest and dearest in life, regardless of the numbers. The biggest bridal part regrets I read about on here are when the couple choose people out of obligation, or family pressure, rather than having the people they really want to stand up with them.

    Even numbers don't even matter anymore. And you should be making this decision, with no input from anyone else. These are your bridesmaids. This is your wedding, which presumably will only happen once. Don't cave to pressure, and regret it later.

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  • Michelle
    Dedicated August 2020
    Michelle ·
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    I had to give my sister a spot as a bridesmaid to keep the peace. It will be my one regret with the whole thing. The day I probably will never hear about it would be the day I return to stardust.
    If you don't want siblings in your wedding party, don't do it. If anyone has something to say about it, tell them it was your choice and it's final.
    You can give them other positions that is helpful. Usher, help with set-up and tear-down, MC if your DJ isn't doing it. Get creative!
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  • Jillian
    Savvy September 2021
    Jillian ·
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    I am having 5 bridesmaids and he’s having 9 groomsmen. He couldn’t make a decision and wanted them all up there so we are making it work.
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  • J
    Master 0000
    Judith ·
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    If you want friends not family in your Bridal party do that. But don't do almost a bridesmaid stuff with your sisters. It seems pretty condescending, like having 3 rummers up.
    PRe ts, mothers, are usually the last seated, before the procession starts, not part of the procession. It is enough that they are your family, a different role than being friends. If you include them at all, ask if any would like to give a 2 minute speech and toast. But treating them like runners up us just awful. If one or more of them wants to do something, they can volunteer to do a family shower, or a 2 families one. They will sense you really want your friends. Not flattering. I have 4 sisters ( and 35 female first cousins within 5 years of my age who lived locally to where I grew up. ) We all had friends except 2 who had their twin in the WP. Being family is nice enough.
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  • Audrey
    Savvy October 2020
    Audrey ·
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    I'm sorry you're struggling! Not everyone is going to be happy, but YOU should be on that day. Who are you closer with? Who do you feel has been supportive of your relationship always and who do you want standing by you? You can always have them double up as they walk down the aisle if you decide to include them all--and I bet your photographer would have some cool photo ideas for it, too!
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