Sisters!

I personally wouldn’t take her out of your wedding because that will definitely ruin your relationship. She did not react nicely at all and I have no idea why she reacted that way, maybe she was stressed, busy idk. People have been pretty depressed and negative during this weird pandemic time so unless she often acts that way with you I’d think it’s just stress talking.
If you don’t feel like getting her a gift though, don’t. I don’t see the point of getting her something cheesy just to get her something.
I am sorry that your sister isn’t being supportive and hopefully she will be nicer to you in the future.

I don’t think that your sister is any less your sister because she doesn’t want to be your wedding planner.

It’s a stressful time and you didn’t lose your other sister long ago and then add Covid. You’ve got to give people a break even your sis. Bridesmaids even sisters aren’t obligated to help you with wedding stuff. They are there to support you emotionally and help you when they can. She’s your sister.

View Quoted Comment She has not been a "sister" for awhile. And has admitted it. And yes she has been mean. But would never take her out of the wedding. I asked her if she wanted to be in the wedding and she said yes. Shes just been so negative. And i dont mean cheesy..just mean not so thoughtful.

View Quoted Comment I’m sorry you have to deal with that, especially if you guys are normally very close. I’m close to my sister and would feel so sad if we became this mad at each other.
My recommendation would just be to stop asking your sister to help with things or for her opinion as it’s only going to annoy you more when she’s not receptive and I wouldn’t want your relationship to be completely ruined. Tensions are running high nowadays so she might need some space.

View Quoted Comment Yes im not asking any more. We still talk alot. Ask for advise for normal stuff. She complains about her daily life and i listen. Its just when it comes to the wedding i feel she just has no time or support...or if i complain about my day she ask me if im in a bad mood or i need a nap..she just has been making me really mad latey. So im just rethinking my gift. I dont know what to do. If i give her the gift and if she thinks its stupid because right now everything i do or anything about the wedding is stuoid...i might throw it at her. Lol

View Quoted Comment I wonder if because you are super close that she might feel threatened by the wedding.. you know you're entering a marriage with a whole other person and it is a transition. Especially after losing your other sister she might be subconsciously opposed to what she perceives as losing you. Absolutely no excuse for poo-pooing on your big day, just perhaps it will provide another perspective for you to approach her in these situations. Just a thought, could be way off lol. Good luck with all the preparation! ❤️

Separate things. The sister gift- save for another time. Don't let that get messed up in wedding things. For the wedding "thank you" shop like it is her birthday. Not a stupid cheesy gift. A nice clothing item, something for a hobby, tickets to something. For all the things she doesn't like, stop showing her. Plan with your FI. Keep doing regular sister stuff only, except necessary communication about a dress. On some non-wedding occasion, her birthday, or a holiday, give her your sentimental sister gift. She should not have to earn that.

It sounds like your sister might be going through a lot right now. She may be struggling emotionally from the loss of your sister. Being quarantined due to Covid maybe hitting her hard. You just never know what someone is going through mentally. Have you asked her if she is okay?

As far as your wedding goes, she does not have to like anything. It's your wedding, not hers. She does not need to approve of your colors, music, place, etc. She also does not have to help you with anything. She just has to show up for you, on your wedding day, as a member of your bridal party. I would get her a gift "thank you" gift and save the sister gift for a different time.

View Quoted Comment I understand that she doesn't have to like my wedding. But the negativity is uncalled for. The things she is just plan rude. I would nit say things like that. And i thought whwn you pick your briadal party, its for people to suport you and help you. Not just to stand next to you. If i wanted someine just to stand next to me i would just pick a random person. Its supposed to be an honor.

View Quoted Comment You should pick people who have supported and loved you throughout your life NOT someone to play the part of your wedding assistant. That’s what coordinators and planners are for. Sure you would want your bridesmaids to be willing and happy to help with wedding planning, but some people just aren’t into that or have the same style as you. It sounds like your sister may still be dealing and grieving your late sister, plus to add what’s going on in the world right now.


My 16 year-old sister was one of my bridesmaids and I knew she didn’t care about wedding planning, but I chose her because I couldn’t imagine not having her standing there by my side. She’s one of my best friends and regardless of if she told me to shut up every time I mentioned wedding planning, I wouldn’t get her a less meaningful gift.
You choose your bridesmaids because of your relationships with them, not based on how great they are at DIYIng centerpieces.