Sister’s shower

I don't see the issue, although I also don't think there's a reason to indicate who is hosting on the invitation. You didn't offer to host so you aren't being given credit for it.

View Quoted Comment Well we WERE all going to plan it/host it together, until the two of them decided they would be the only hosts. That’s the issue.

I definitely think it was rude of them to not include you, when you clearly made it known that you wanted to help. It’s also unnecessary to put who the hosts are on the invite. You have every right to be upset and call her out on it.

You’re not crazy, and that sucks. I can totally see how you feel hurt. The unfortunate part is that with invites out, changing anything on them isn’t happening. I think it makes sense to let them know how you feel - you may explode otherwise! Since it’s you and the other BM, maybe suggest getting drinks or coffee with all of you saying you’d like to help with wedding details, and that you have some ideas. Maybe think of a fun surprise for your sister not shower-involved - rehearsal, bachelorette, wedding morning, whatever, that can be yours to “own” (and if the other BM wants to help too, great!). Discuss what you like on your end (getting excited about something different may put you in a better mood, too), and then ask about the shower, and let her know you felt hurt and left out, but that you are very much still interested in helping. Say your peace, let her know specifically - so yes, the names on the invite, that you felt you let her know you’d like to help but you felt she left you behind with this initial planning - let her say whatever, and move on. Yeah, it sucks, but one of those things that you can’t do too much about now. Hopefully you can get excited about something better - something maybe your sister actually even wants! Best of luck babe!

I think was rude to not involve you after you clearly wanted to help.
Who's hosting only goes on the wedding invite itself, it's weird to me to do that but maybe they refrenced a wedding invite and not a shower one on accident.
I say let it go if your sister didn't even want a shower in the first place

Yes, it is rude and passive aggressive on the MOH's part. I would be offended as well. The only advice I can offer is to keep your feelings from getting to the bride to be. Knowing there is drama between you all will stress her out. Have a talk with the MOH privately... although she sounds very petty and she may just make excuses and not acknowledge her poor behavior. Sorry that happened to you both.

Yes, it was very rude of MOH to do that, and you are not crazy for being offended!

I don’t know. I see both sides of this. She didn’t follow up with you, but it sounds like you didn’t follow up with her either. Unless you’re financially contributing to this shower, you aren’t hosting it since it’s at her house. If you are financially contributing, that’s a totally different story and your name should also be listed.

I can see how you feel that way!
But I'd also try to let it go, at the end of the day you're doing this for your sister and she knows who put in the effort for it and I'm sure she will appreciate you all equally for it.
For mine my MOH was the host on the invite but honestly like I knew all my BMs did the work not just her.

Well that's what I call throwing a stone and hiding your hand. I hate that. I think it was intentional and them being credit hogs. But not a deal breaker by any means. I would still plan my sisters shower with them and not let it get under my skin because I think this might be their only way of feeling important...and that is sort of sad to me.

Who puts the host's name on a shower invite? That's messed up. Completely rude. On the other hand if they want all the credit then you don't have to give them squat if they ask for contributions since you're not a co-host.

Thanks all! I feel a little better hearing that the agreement is that they were rude.

View Quoted Comment We would have all planned/contributed financially together. That was the original plan, anyway, so that’s why I was taken aback that they only listed the two of them as hosts.

I'd be bummed for sure. She's your sister & you didn't even have the option to help host.

Be mad for a minute, then use the funds you would have contributed to the shower and buy your sister a kick-ass gift while being thankful you avoided planning a shower with her crazy MOH