Hello all! So I know giving your bridal parties +1s is the most polite thing to do, but my older sister has me in a pickle. Let me explain...
My older sister tends to not only date questionable men, but to cater to their every whim, putting them before everyone else. At my college graduation, her boyfriend at the time did not like seafood, and I had chosen a seafood restaurant, so rather than eat with us and find something on the menu, she agreed to go with him to a different restaurant, completely skipping my graduation dinner. She was also recently a BM in a cousin's wedding and literally LEFT while the bridal party was getting ready so she could go pick up and drive her date (not boyfriend... just a date) to the venue so he "didn't have to travel to the venue himself and feel alone". Something like this will give me soooo much anxiety on my wedding day, as our venue is a good 30+ minutes outside of our city.
We recently sent out save the dates for our wedding next fall. At my mother's advice (and she is paying for 90% of our wedding) she suggested that we did not give my older sister a plus one, as she is currently single. She is a BM and both my mother and I could not think of a situation where she wouldn't be distracted by her date in some way or another. My younger sister even agreed to not have a 1+ to ease the tension.
At the idea of not having an automatic date, my older sister went BALLISTIC, even telling my mom she will cover the cost of her date herself. She insists that if she is in my wedding, she should have a date, and I get it, but at the same time when my own mom is concerned about my sister's focus and behavior, I feel like I have a genuine point. Am I being too insensitive?
P.S. I should probably note that if she does have a boyfriend at the time of official RSVPs, he will of course be counted. Also, despite her being 30, my mother has purchased her entire BM outfit, will be paying for her travel and hotel and I am not having any bachelorette party, so she can't really use the money she is spending on this wedding as an excuse, as my mother is paying for most of her expenses as well.
