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Samantha
Devoted April 2018

Sister's boyfriend

Samantha, on December 8, 2017 at 11:03 PM Posted in Etiquette and Advice 0 72

Hello, I'm looking for some opinions as to how to approach a predicament. My older sister has a boyfriend, let's call him Nate. Nate is former military and ever since a motorcycle accident he's had a service dog. The dog is a trained attack and support dog. It is a very large dog as well. I do not like him one bit because he has charged me several time many of which have been while I'm just walking around the house. Nate says he has control of the dog but frequently is unable to stop the dog before he's got me cornered or is about to bite me. I know proper etiquette says I should invite Nate to the wedding. But that means the dog would be there as Nate will not go anywhere without the dog. I'm concerned about my safety and the safety of my guests at the wedding though especially since there will be children in attendance. I told my sister Nate could come but the dog could not and she's up in arms even though I tried explaining my concern. Any ideas for a happy compromise? Dog is in pic


72 Comments

Latest activity by bluevelvet, on December 10, 2017 at 10:51 AM
  • Ashley
    Expert November 2018
    Ashley ·
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    How is he certified as a service dog if he doesn't behave?

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  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
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    It doesn't sound like it's a service dog. A service dog is trained exceptionally well, and would not behave in such a way.

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  • Jill
    Expert August 2018
    Jill ·
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    I didn't know service dogs were trained to attack. Why on earth would the dog attack you? Scary.

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  • Alana
    VIP March 2018
    Alana ·
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    Yeah if Nate can't control his dog then Nate can't come. If he tries to attack you and the dog knows who you, imagine what will happen when a child runs by. Avoid the lawsuit

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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
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    Tis does not sounds like a legitimate service dog. A real sd's behavior should always be exemplary.

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  • Samantha
    Devoted April 2018
    Samantha ·
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    Rachel the dog is there to protect him because he can’t raise one arm past his chest so “he can’t protect himself if attacked”.

    ETA: I've asked if Nate needs the dog for ptsd and the answer was no

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  • Jamie
    Devoted August 2018
    Jamie ·
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    He is not a trained dog of any sort if he attacks or corners without command. He looks like a German Shepherd of sorts so my guess is he was a failed MP or bomb sniffing dog....due to temperament. Stand your ground, do not allow him to bring the dog. There is no compromise to be had. The dog is a liability. Remind Nate he is financially responsible for his "trained" dog attacking or biting anyone.

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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
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    Also Malinois that haven't been properly trained are terrifying. I wouldn't want that dog near me.

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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
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    Annnd agreed, that is not a service dog, that's an overly protective, under-trained malinois who doesn't have enough self-restraint to make it safe to be around. Malinois in the hands of people like this make me sad.

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  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
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    We're looking into getting a service dog for me due to mobility issues. They HAVE to perform a task. And protecting him because he can't raise his arm isn't a task. I know several people that have the same illness I do, that have service dogs. They're specifically trained to do one or two tasks. Not to protect.

    Fake SD's infuriate me. They make things more difficult for those with legitimate SDs.

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  • Samantha
    Devoted April 2018
    Samantha ·
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    The dog was a trained attack dog before Nate got him as a service dog. I leave the house and go to my FH’s apartment when Nate comes over cause I don’t want to be near the dog

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  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
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    He is not a legitimate service dog. Service dogs are not in any way trained to protect or attack. A former attack dog is NOT a service dog, and would NOT be a candidate for one.

    This is a huge liability issue, huge. When that dog bites someone, Nate will be in a lot of trouble. He could also be sued.

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  • Jamie
    Devoted August 2018
    Jamie ·
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    He can't be a trained attack dog unless he it was through some shady dog fighting company, law enforcement, or the military. It is not legal. That is one of the reasons you don't see former police dogs and military dogs just going to anybody. However...dogs that fail training are up for grabs. It's sad. Tldr: Dude is lying.

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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
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    It is NOT a service dog and does NOT need to be accommodated as one. End of story.

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  • Brittany
    Devoted October 2018
    Brittany ·
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    I wouldn't trust that dog around other people if you don't trust it.

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  • Ashley
    VIP May 2018
    Ashley ·
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    If the dog is an ACTUAL service dog, with PAPERWORK I'm almost positive it's illegal to not allow the dog... however it doesn't sound like he's an actual service dog. Say no.. how is the dog supposed to behave in a setting with a LOT of people...?

    I would say no times 1 million. If your sister doesn't go to your wedding because of this, then she will regret it in the long run. If the dog misbehaves, or annoys you on your day (which he will, seeing as you leave the house when he's over), you'll regret it because it's running YOUR day

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  • ThePeoplesBride
    VIP October 2020
    ThePeoplesBride ·
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    A friend of mine trains service animals, often rescues with the right temperament. She has trained at least 25 dogs and each dog has incredible behavior. None of them would misbehave in the way that Nate's dog does.

    His dog is a MAJOR liability and you are well within your rights to protect yourself and your guests by not inviting him. Who is to say his dog won't freak out with all the lights, noise, and people. The last thing you need is for him to act out aggressively and harm a guest.

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  • Ashley
    VIP May 2018
    Ashley ·
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    You can always blame it on the venue... no dogs

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  • Orchids
    Master March 2018
    Orchids ·
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    @Ashley, in the US there is no governing body for service dogs and as such, anyone offering to show paperwork to "prove" their dog is a SD is likely faking. It IS legal to remove even a legitimate service dog from a place if its behavior is disruptive.

    That said, even a self-trained SD HAS TO PERFORM A SERVICE FOR ITS HANDLER. There are only two questions that it is legal for a business to ask a person about their service dog. "Is your dog a service dog" and "what tasks does the dog perform" A dog who does not perform any tasks is not a service dog.

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  • FutureMrs.L
    Master September 2018
    FutureMrs.L ·
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    Ashley, there is no paperwork for service dogs other than registering and licensing within the state/county, which is for ALL dogs, not just SDs. There is no federal SD registry or certificate for them.

    https://www.ada.gov/regs2010/service_animal_qa.html

    https://www.servicedogcertifications.org/service-dog-requirements/

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